Apocalypse Now

The following is a PSA because I care about you.

Get your lives right people!  Start talking to the Lord, Buddha, Rah, or somebody because the end is near!  I know I've been saying this since I started the blog.  And I'm sure you all thought I was just talking crazy.  Some of you probably still do.  But I mean, if Sarah Palin, boys in jeggings, and girls hiding contraband under their tits ain't enough proof for you then maybe, just maybe the fact that it's raining birds and shit will be. 

I'm sure that scientists will figure out a way to explain all of this away and that will be enough to make you feel better.  For instance, 2 million fish crawled up on the shores of the Chesapeake and died because the water was too cold. *side-eye* Well, that shit ain't make me feel good at all.  We had 197 inches* of snow and ice fall last Winter and I don't recall a crab, a fish, or any other such chicken of the sea crawling up on shores gasping for breath.  So no, no I don't believe the cold whether explanation.  And I don't even want to talk about the things that they are saying that explains why birds have started falling from the sky like raindrop on a warm Spring day.  A lightning storm in the clouds?  High winds that didn't make it down to Earth's crust?  Hell, they may as well tell me that over 100,000 birds died because the sun shined too brightly in their eyes and caused them all to fly into each other like the damn Three Stooges, resulting in them all being rendered unconcious and plummeting to their untimely deaths.  That's way better than the global warming excuse that some nerd is going to tell us is the reason why it's SNOWING in San Diego! Truthfully, I've never been there so I don't know the weather patterns of Southern California, but I've heard it never rains there, so SNOW damn sure shouldn't be in the forcast. 

I blame Schmeco and 'em for acting like plum dumb asses and causing God to get super pissed and press fast forward to the end. I'm thinking it's going to get here before the ball drops on 2012.  There are plenty of signs people!  Just look around you.  You have to pay better attention.  Hell, you probably sat next to the anti-Christ on the train to work yesterday.  Something in the milk ain't clean© folks.  If you believe in a higher power, right now is the time to get right with him (or her).  I'd hate to be on the other side of the gates once the Rapture has commenced shaking my head and telling you I told you so.  But you know I will.

*: slight exaggeration
©:that one belongs to Khia, but I try to use it in a sentence everyday.