It's Been A Long Time...I Shouldna Left You

The following post is a summary of why I thought the Mayan calendar was right and that shit was gonna get really real for us on December 21.

A few months ago a friend of mine (and I use the word friend loosely) sent me this jewel from a precious little lamb named Trinidad James: 

It took me a full 7-10 business days to realize this shit wasn't a joke. Like this dude is dead damn serious. Rapping about mollies, gold, and niggas. All while looking like he just might be one of the last folks to step off the Underground Railroad.

I just knew that this guy was a sign that the Mayans were right. When he signed a record deal with Def Jam, I went into Doomsday Prepper mode. I hit Safeway shelves for non-perishables, toilet paper, batteries, and bottled water.

Then this happened:

A Tyler Perry movie that I think I want to see. I don't think I have to say anything more. Just know that after this happened, I began watching the sky for locusts and checking to see if the Patapsco River was flowing blood instead of water.

One of my followers sent me a video. It's Ices Brown. I said a little prayer before I pressed play. Then this happened:

First of all...why is this chick so damn greasy? Look like she bobbed for wings and thighs in Precious' bucket of chicken. This purple shirt got her giving all kinds of Grimace realness. And don't even get me started on the fact that she don't even know the words to the dang song!!

When I tell you I got down on my knees and prayed to the Good Lord for help?!? Y'all just don't understand. Ices took me to the edge and I was gonna voluntarily take a swan dive off. I also seriously considered tunneling a bunker under my apartment building. When things like this are happening in the world, you just can't take chances.

But even with all of this calamity, the world didn't end. Sweet Baby Jesus' Daddy said he chooses the hour and the minute that the world's rotations stops. It's gonna be a surprise. But that doesn't mean that y'all can keep letting foolishness happen. We have to stop giving him reasons to push fast forward. 

Let's do better in 2013. Please.

Burlesque Boy

Listen, I love a drag queen.  I'm into RuPaul's Drag Race like most folks are into sports and food.  In fact, I believe I may have been a gay man in a former life because I live for musicals, make up, fake hair, Glee, and club music.  In fact whenever songs like "Only Girl" or "It's Raining Men" comes on I feel it's my duty to stand up and twirl....location doesn't matter.  I've been caught at least twice at my job twerking it like I was the last man standing in Connections.

Anyway, I won't say much about this other than it made my heart smile and my soul get warm this good morning.  I guess they start them off young...


Original Video - More videos at TinyPic

I die. (source)

You Tube Shenanigans: Leyomi Who?

This is the kind of shit I live for.  I see the world as a musical.  Everyone has a theme song, every incident has a background score, and random dancing is acceptable.  So when I saw this video I was super amped.  I so wish I could walk into my local BestBuy and see this kind of madness happening in real time.  This guy is super cold with his moves and it makes me wanna go out and buy whatever it is that he's trying to sell.  Which is saying a lot because I've never heard of the thing before this video made it to my inbox.  Anyway,  check it out: 



Tell me this dude wasn't giving you all kinds of Leroy from Fame fever!!  I suspect he hit a mean Leyomi drop at the end but whoever was taping didn't recognize the power of that move and quit taping.

For those of you who are not informed and do not know who Leyomi is, keep the link for future reference, because I will definitely be referring to her again in the future.  She's a friend in my head. ;-)