So I was minding my own business laughing at lunatics on Facebook when I got a message from my homegirl, The Lovely Lucian.
When I tell you I screamed and hollered?
Ooh Lawd, y'all just gotta watch this shit.
First of all, let us concentrate on how delicately the young white man combed that chest hair please?
Little brother combed that shit like he had nothing but love and respect and tender gratitude for each and every fucking follicle.
*moment of silence for his manhood*
And what about "Hustle Man"? I haven't had so much love for inappropriate damn behavior since Fleece Johnson stole my heart a few years back.
And let us not forget to mention the deference KJ showed for Mr. Taco Meat when he politely declined his Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday natural hair care shift?
Listen, I know it's been a while since I've been around here, but nothing has moved me as much as this has moved me in a very, very long time.
This is some high class fuckery right here people. Y'all need to savor it. I know I am.
Also, if you're still keeping count. This right here is going to be one of the reasons that the Good Lord slams both feet down on the brakes. Civilization doesn't stand a damn chance.
Showing posts with label Sucks to be you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sucks to be you. Show all posts
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
When Keeping it Thug Goes Wrong...
The following video is running rampant on social media right now
(source)
By now you all should now my stance on bullying. I think it sucks. I also think that the best way to solve the bullying problem is to kick the bully's ass. And I'm not talking about a few tap, I'm talking lefts, rights, uppercuts, and body blows. I say go straight Mike Tyson's Punch Out on that ass.
I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do, but that's surely what I teach my son. Apparently, the little lady in this video who is mollywhopping the cowboy shit outta her tormentor was taught the same.
This makes my heart smile. It's okay for you to judge me for that. I don't have a single, solitary damn to give about your feelings on the issue.
I'm hoping that somebody forwards this to Drake. Maybe the next time he gets into fisticuffs with another girl he'll know how to defend himself.
Also, can we talk about the bully's friends? The instigators? Why is it acceptable for them to tape the fight on their phones and provide ringside commentary? That's not friendship. Real friendship is stopping your friend from getting her ass kicked. Real friends sneak a punch when separating the fight...
Anyway, last night I was minding my own business and catching up on "Scandal." I had no plans on even talking about this video posted above until my friend, James the Great hipped me to this little ditty....
http://www.hulkshare.com/y7ns5bqj6134
First I cried...and then I died! Y'all play too much!!
OMG y'all have entirely too much damn time on your hands!
I don't have anything to say about this foolishness. Mainly because I feel like Jade's dumb ass needs to be made a fool of. Hopefully she (and her ain't shit friends) have learned a lesson.
Y'all gotta teach your kids to leave folks alone. If you don't, you'll have parents like me who don't give one single solitary fuck about throat checking a kid knocking on your door and calling them to the grass. Think about it.
(source)
By now you all should now my stance on bullying. I think it sucks. I also think that the best way to solve the bullying problem is to kick the bully's ass. And I'm not talking about a few tap, I'm talking lefts, rights, uppercuts, and body blows. I say go straight Mike Tyson's Punch Out on that ass.
I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do, but that's surely what I teach my son. Apparently, the little lady in this video who is mollywhopping the cowboy shit outta her tormentor was taught the same.
This makes my heart smile. It's okay for you to judge me for that. I don't have a single, solitary damn to give about your feelings on the issue.
I'm hoping that somebody forwards this to Drake. Maybe the next time he gets into fisticuffs with another girl he'll know how to defend himself.
Also, can we talk about the bully's friends? The instigators? Why is it acceptable for them to tape the fight on their phones and provide ringside commentary? That's not friendship. Real friendship is stopping your friend from getting her ass kicked. Real friends sneak a punch when separating the fight...
Anyway, last night I was minding my own business and catching up on "Scandal." I had no plans on even talking about this video posted above until my friend, James the Great hipped me to this little ditty....
http://www.hulkshare.com/y7ns5bqj6134
First I cried...and then I died! Y'all play too much!!
OMG y'all have entirely too much damn time on your hands!
I don't have anything to say about this foolishness. Mainly because I feel like Jade's dumb ass needs to be made a fool of. Hopefully she (and her ain't shit friends) have learned a lesson.
Y'all gotta teach your kids to leave folks alone. If you don't, you'll have parents like me who don't give one single solitary fuck about throat checking a kid knocking on your door and calling them to the grass. Think about it.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Open Letter: Dear Drake
Drake,
Hold up, before I start I'm gonna need some music to set the mood.
Okay, where was I?
Look, I've been trying to avoid writing this letter for a long time. I mean my disdain for you is pretty well known in Tee's World. The fact that I think your insides are made of strawberry Pop Tart filling is no secret. However, my opinion of you was based solely on your musical selections. Not on who you are as a "man".
But all of that changed this morning. Why? Because I logged onto my computer and the first thing that pops up is that you took a wine bottle and mollywhopped the cowboy shit outta Chris Brown.
Imagine that. You are in a club full of half nekkid broads with your boys but your frilly ass felt the need to bitch up and toss a bottle dude? So Breezy and his body guard end up leaking fluids and your pink pannie wearing ass ends up in the ladies room wringing your hands and hiding behind the toilet in the big stall.
All that over some island poon that ain't hardly considering the likes of your satin slipper wearing ass.
Only a man who wears extra smedium Spanx under his jeggings would think that this kind of behavior is acceptable.
There's no way a dude with fully functioning balls would ever go to these lengths over a woman his never had a real relationship with. No sir, only a man who has testes full of marshmallow fluff would do such a thing.
You let your slip show son.
This kind of behavior is NEVER acceptable.
Real men flip tables. They engage in hand to hand fisticuffs and the occasional Greco-Roman wrestling move. They sweep legs and throw vicious right hooks. They certainly don't send perfectly good bottles of liquor flying through the air all willy nilly. Hell, I don't know of any woman in her right mind that would waste good drank. Especially on the likes of Chris Brown.
I have some questions that I'm hoping you can answer.
Since you appear to have never gotten over it, I need you to tell me exactly what Rihanna's twat is lined with? I imagine that it's gilded with precious stones and metals.
When she opens her legs do pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers pop out? Do all of Heaven's angels hit their dougie? I need to know. She obviously has some righteous vagina. I mean you out in these streets committing felonies and class C misdemeanors. There are very few women on this Earth who can say they have felonious pussy. The kind that makes even the weakest man (you) feel strong enough to do dumb shit.
What did you say as you were tossing that bottle? I'm certain is was some soft and pink shit like "nah nah nah boo boo I tossed a bottle at you" or some other weak ass Canadian prose.
Did you let out a squeal when you saw all the blood?
You don't have to answer that. I'm certain you did.
When you ended up in tornado position behind the toilet in the ladies room, did you cry? Or just whine like you did on "Marvin's Room"?
Will this fiasco end up on a song? And if that's the case how will you feel if CB attempts to body you on the remix like Common did?
Look homie, I don't know how you are going to live this one down. I'm pretty certain that the good citizens of the universe won't let this one die. I know I won't. You'll be hearing about this from me until the Good Lord waves the red flag on us all.
Peace.
Tee
Hold up, before I start I'm gonna need some music to set the mood.
Okay, where was I?
Look, I've been trying to avoid writing this letter for a long time. I mean my disdain for you is pretty well known in Tee's World. The fact that I think your insides are made of strawberry Pop Tart filling is no secret. However, my opinion of you was based solely on your musical selections. Not on who you are as a "man".
But all of that changed this morning. Why? Because I logged onto my computer and the first thing that pops up is that you took a wine bottle and mollywhopped the cowboy shit outta Chris Brown.
Imagine that. You are in a club full of half nekkid broads with your boys but your frilly ass felt the need to bitch up and toss a bottle dude? So Breezy and his body guard end up leaking fluids and your pink pannie wearing ass ends up in the ladies room wringing your hands and hiding behind the toilet in the big stall.
All that over some island poon that ain't hardly considering the likes of your satin slipper wearing ass.
Only a man who wears extra smedium Spanx under his jeggings would think that this kind of behavior is acceptable.
There's no way a dude with fully functioning balls would ever go to these lengths over a woman his never had a real relationship with. No sir, only a man who has testes full of marshmallow fluff would do such a thing.
You let your slip show son.
This kind of behavior is NEVER acceptable.
Real men flip tables. They engage in hand to hand fisticuffs and the occasional Greco-Roman wrestling move. They sweep legs and throw vicious right hooks. They certainly don't send perfectly good bottles of liquor flying through the air all willy nilly. Hell, I don't know of any woman in her right mind that would waste good drank. Especially on the likes of Chris Brown.
I have some questions that I'm hoping you can answer.
Since you appear to have never gotten over it, I need you to tell me exactly what Rihanna's twat is lined with? I imagine that it's gilded with precious stones and metals.
When she opens her legs do pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers pop out? Do all of Heaven's angels hit their dougie? I need to know. She obviously has some righteous vagina. I mean you out in these streets committing felonies and class C misdemeanors. There are very few women on this Earth who can say they have felonious pussy. The kind that makes even the weakest man (you) feel strong enough to do dumb shit.
What did you say as you were tossing that bottle? I'm certain is was some soft and pink shit like "nah nah nah boo boo I tossed a bottle at you" or some other weak ass Canadian prose.
Did you let out a squeal when you saw all the blood?
You don't have to answer that. I'm certain you did.
When you ended up in tornado position behind the toilet in the ladies room, did you cry? Or just whine like you did on "Marvin's Room"?
Will this fiasco end up on a song? And if that's the case how will you feel if CB attempts to body you on the remix like Common did?
Look homie, I don't know how you are going to live this one down. I'm pretty certain that the good citizens of the universe won't let this one die. I know I won't. You'll be hearing about this from me until the Good Lord waves the red flag on us all.
Peace.
Tee
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
That's What You Get!!
My insomina was rewarded when I found the following gift in my inbox. Thanks to The Gladiator for this little piece of heaven.
I'm totally anti-bully. As a person of a smaller stature, I know what it's like to have people pick on you just because it seems like an easy win. And as a person of a smaller stature I totally understand how the video below got to the point that it did.
On any given day, you could ask my brain how tall I am and it would give you a severe *side-eye* and say "Can't you see? Tee is 10 feet tall." You can't tell me that I'm not head and shoulders above all folks walking on these streets right now.
And my attitude reflects this.
But my brain will also tell me when I'm about to do some very, very stupid shit. And since I'm not stupid, like the kid in this video, I usually pause and reflect on the dumb shit that I'm about to do. It usually works, sometimes it doesn't, my criminal record* reflects that.
Anyway, like I said, I'm not stupid. I may talk a lot of shit. Most times I can back it up on my lonesome, but I know when to seek assistance. And by assistance I mean a big stick or a brick. Lil' man in the video should have listened to his brain...
(source)
I didn't mean to laugh, but....oh hell, yes I did. Homeboy got ROCKED! And you can really tell that the other kid didn't want to do it. He was forced. It was self-defense. And THAT'S why this was extra hilarious. The little one really thought he had a win, started dancing like he was Mayweather and errthang. *snicker*
In my head I imagine that the conversation leading up to this incident went like this:
Backstory: The little one, Pee Wee, has been messing with the big one, Baby Huey, for weeks now. Tossing paper clips at his head, stealing his lunch money, talking about his Mama, pinching him and shit. Baby Huey never reacts. This has made Pee Wee grow very, very, very big balls.
Pee Wee: 'Sup Huey, I told you in 3rd period I was gonna end your life today!
(Pee Wee's brain: Dude...he's kinda huge...I don't know...)
Baby Huey: Hi.
Pee Wee: Hi? That's all you have to say when I'm about to send you home crying to your big, fat Mommy?
(Pee Wee's brain: His MOM?! Oh shit..hes gonna kill you! Stop!)
Baby Huey: Don't talk about my Mom.
Pee Wee: FUCK your Mama! Your Mama is soooo UGLY, you Daddy had to visit her at the Zoo to go on dates!!
(Pee Wee's brain: Dude...stop. Cease and desist. You don't have to do this!! Just keep cussin and back away slowly...)
Baby Huey: That's really not nice.
Pee Wee: Not nice? Imma show you not nice! *one punch* *two punch* *three punch* *four....*
(Pee Wee's brain: Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Run dude!! RUN!! OH SHIT!! I'm upside down...I don't think I'm supposed to bounce around like that! Man down! Man down!)
So Pee Wee didn't listen to his brain. He listened his friends and he ended up with a damn TBI after getting choke slammed on the hard concrete.
I wonder if he could even rember his name after that jostling? Probably not. But I bet you I know a name he will never forget in his lifetime: Baby freakin' Huey. He shut shit down. And he didn't say one word.
Nothing good can come from picking on folks. Nothing good at all. Even if you think you are the biggest and baddest kid on the block, reconsider bothering people just because you want to be entertained. Because it is usually YOU who become the entertainment for people like me. And I promise you Pee Wee, I'm going to be laughing at you for a very long time.
I hope that little pint-sized jackass Pee Wee has learned his lesson.
I hope that school has a video yearbook or a time machine that they can put this in and preserve it for all of eternity. EVERYBODY needs to see this and see that bullying is so not worth it. Especially not if you want to be able to spend your life concussion free.
I'm totally anti-bully. As a person of a smaller stature, I know what it's like to have people pick on you just because it seems like an easy win. And as a person of a smaller stature I totally understand how the video below got to the point that it did.
On any given day, you could ask my brain how tall I am and it would give you a severe *side-eye* and say "Can't you see? Tee is 10 feet tall." You can't tell me that I'm not head and shoulders above all folks walking on these streets right now.
And my attitude reflects this.
But my brain will also tell me when I'm about to do some very, very stupid shit. And since I'm not stupid, like the kid in this video, I usually pause and reflect on the dumb shit that I'm about to do. It usually works, sometimes it doesn't, my criminal record* reflects that.
Anyway, like I said, I'm not stupid. I may talk a lot of shit. Most times I can back it up on my lonesome, but I know when to seek assistance. And by assistance I mean a big stick or a brick. Lil' man in the video should have listened to his brain...
(source)
I didn't mean to laugh, but....oh hell, yes I did. Homeboy got ROCKED! And you can really tell that the other kid didn't want to do it. He was forced. It was self-defense. And THAT'S why this was extra hilarious. The little one really thought he had a win, started dancing like he was Mayweather and errthang. *snicker*
In my head I imagine that the conversation leading up to this incident went like this:
Backstory: The little one, Pee Wee, has been messing with the big one, Baby Huey, for weeks now. Tossing paper clips at his head, stealing his lunch money, talking about his Mama, pinching him and shit. Baby Huey never reacts. This has made Pee Wee grow very, very, very big balls.
Pee Wee: 'Sup Huey, I told you in 3rd period I was gonna end your life today!
(Pee Wee's brain: Dude...he's kinda huge...I don't know...)
Baby Huey: Hi.
Pee Wee: Hi? That's all you have to say when I'm about to send you home crying to your big, fat Mommy?
(Pee Wee's brain: His MOM?! Oh shit..hes gonna kill you! Stop!)
Baby Huey: Don't talk about my Mom.
Pee Wee: FUCK your Mama! Your Mama is soooo UGLY, you Daddy had to visit her at the Zoo to go on dates!!
(Pee Wee's brain: Dude...stop. Cease and desist. You don't have to do this!! Just keep cussin and back away slowly...)
Baby Huey: That's really not nice.
Pee Wee: Not nice? Imma show you not nice! *one punch* *two punch* *three punch* *four....*
(Pee Wee's brain: Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Run dude!! RUN!! OH SHIT!! I'm upside down...I don't think I'm supposed to bounce around like that! Man down! Man down!)
So Pee Wee didn't listen to his brain. He listened his friends and he ended up with a damn TBI after getting choke slammed on the hard concrete.
I wonder if he could even rember his name after that jostling? Probably not. But I bet you I know a name he will never forget in his lifetime: Baby freakin' Huey. He shut shit down. And he didn't say one word.
Nothing good can come from picking on folks. Nothing good at all. Even if you think you are the biggest and baddest kid on the block, reconsider bothering people just because you want to be entertained. Because it is usually YOU who become the entertainment for people like me. And I promise you Pee Wee, I'm going to be laughing at you for a very long time.
I hope that little pint-sized jackass Pee Wee has learned his lesson.
I hope that school has a video yearbook or a time machine that they can put this in and preserve it for all of eternity. EVERYBODY needs to see this and see that bullying is so not worth it. Especially not if you want to be able to spend your life concussion free.
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