Willow as Annie...

I don't know if I've ever told you all this, but I live for musicals.  I love the whole idea them.  The idea of walking through the streets and bursting into song just gives me life.  The fact that there is always a song to sing that will explain your situation or get you out of trouble moves me in a way that most other things don't.  I can sit down on a Saturday with "Chicago", "The Wizard of Oz", "Westside Story", "Dreamgirls", episodes of "Glee", some kettle corn and an ice cold Pepsi and be so very happy.

So imagine my surprise when I was surfing the innanets and came across a story saying that Willow Smith will star in a remake of the classic musical "Annie" (another one of my faves).  Apparently, this will be produced by her dad, Will Smith and scored by Jay-Z.  Interesting.  In my opinion, they should leave this one alone.  Every movie is not remake-able.  There are some characters that are so iconic that any deviation from them is just dumb.  This is one of those instances.  You see, Annie is a homely little white girl with a horrible red afro, poor fashion sense, and a sunny disposition that makes FDR and Daddy Warbucks want to sing about rainbows and shit at the top of their lungs.  I don't care how talented you people think little Willow is, she could never pull that off. 

Now, I know the Smith kids are some talented little boogers.  And I know that their parents are really into them getting a jump start on padding their 401Ks and shit.  I'm not here to knock that.  Hell, if they don't give a shit about child labor laws and whatnot then why should I?

All I'm saying is that they should leave well enough alone.  Many people have tried to remake this particular movie and failed.  Let's leave Annie and her fiesty band of orphan friends in the 1982 version of awesomeness.  There is no reason for the movie to be urbanized, updated, or changed in any way.  They did it to "The Wizard of Oz with "The Wiz".  And we see how well that went.  It made like $5.17 at the box office.  Now don't get me wrong.  I'll be the first to admit that I think that that movie is greatness.  But not many people feel the same way that I do. Nobody saw it when it was released.  Nobody saw it, because nobody wanted to see it.  And nobody wanted to see it because nobody wanted to see a middle-aged Diana Ross as Dorothy.  Even though they tried to change it up and make her a 25 year from Harlem.  It didn't matter.  Judy Garland is Dorothy. Period.  And this is how I feel about Annie.  Leave it alone and let Willow get her shine with an original.

But I know it's already a done deal so my complaints will fall on deaf ears.  And since I don't really want to waste any effort complaining about something that is inevitable, how about I help out with some casting?  I know Willow is a girl of the future and her friends list probably looks like a Benetton ad, but I've decided to go with an all black cast if you don't mind.

Miss Hanigan - Gayle King (with Oprah's permission of course). She looks like she would play a drunk well.  And if we can't get Oprah to sign the permission slip Plan B should be Mo'Nique.  She could just act like she did when she was Precious' mama. 
Rooster - I pick Diddy. He seems like he has a decent understanding of underhanded business practices and would probably do an awesome job playing a crook.
Lily (Rooster's girlfriend) - Megan Goode.  I can't give a reason for this one. She just seems like she'd be perfect.
Daddy Warbucks - This was difficult. I think I'm going to go with Denzel Washington.  Mainly because he's older and would totally be believable as a rich, businessman who opens his heart and home to a rambunctious orphan.  Plus, I'm sure there are plenty of people walking around that wouldn't mind calling that man Daddy.  But the Smith's are totally going to keep the checks in the family and go with Will.  But honestly, that's a pretty good pick too.
Grace - Daddy Warbucks' secretary/boo.  I'm thinking Gabrielle Union on this one.  Again, I can't explain why.  It just makes sense in my head.

Punjab - I say we go to the executive producer Jay-Z for this one.  And no, not because Will already has a part and it would only be fair to include him too.  I picked him because he looks JUST like the actor that played Punjab in the original.  And I guess if Jay doesn't feel comfy in front of the camera we can always ask Andre Leon Tally.  Because he looks like Jay Z and Punjab too.  Especially when he rocks his turban.  See?



The resemblance is uncanny...



ALT and his turban