Happy New Year!

*I apologize for the lameness of the gif, but Mahogany doesn't make clip art.*

Well folks, 2011 officially here.  I hope that you all had really good times ringing the new year in.  I know I did.  I'm not much of a partier so I usually sleep through it.  But, this year I toasted some douche and scum bags (respectively) and even stayed up long enough to see the fireworks and to hear the gunfire that even suburbanites are compelled to pop off on the last day of the year.  Ain't that some shit?  All this hard work and money I put into moving away from the threat of death by stray bullet and these cookie cutter homeowners out here are the still putting me in danger.  Remind me to write an angry letter to my neighborhood association.

As you all know this is the time of year that we make resolutions and promises to ourselves that we know we aren't gonna keep.  I wonder who said that lying to yourself is a requirement for starting out the new year right?  Well, since Tee's World is a place of truth I won't be doing that.  Well, actually I just won't be calling them resolutions.  Resolutions have a bad rap.  I'm going to make some vows.  And I'm a person that takes things like vows very, very seriously so you won't have to worry about me breaking them. 

So here we go, my list of things that I vow to do in 2011. Try not to judge me mmmkay?

1. I vow to be a better listener.  This means I'm going to try to wait until the person I'm talking to gets their entire statement out of their mouth before I label them a moron or ass clown.
2. I vow step outside of my comfort bubble and to talk to at least one stranger (or strange person) once every 2 (or 3) weeks.  This is a big deal for me people.  Stranger danger is real Tee's World. We don't really mess with folks we don't know.
3. I vow to lose 15 - 20 lbs. of gut meat.  I know some of you think wide hips and jiggle is sexy.  That being "thick" is some kind of badge of honor. I don't. I wanna be built like a #2 pencil.
4. I vow to leave the all the grudges that I've been carrying around for the past few years alone.  I'm tired people.  Hauling around all that shit is fatiguing.  It's time to let it go. I'm sure that will help with my keeping #3.  Hell, I feel 20 lbs. lighter by just writing this down.
5. I vow to have some real fun this year.  I have not yet defined what "real fun" is to me yet, so that will be announced at a later date.  However, I know it will include some people watching, story telling, jokes, and what not. Yeah, that sounds like lots of fun....

That's it.  I don't want to make the list too long, or it's all I'll be dwelling on this year.  Have to leave some room for the random stuff that pops up.  And considering the way my life is, I'm sure the randomness will occur more often than anything else.  If you are reading this you are officially my accountability partner.  If you catch me doing something that doesn't adhere to the rules that I've set for myself I'm going to need you to call me on it.  I promise I won't take it personally.  Hell, I'd do the same for you and you don't even have to ask me to. 

Remember to make some vows to yourself that you know you are capable of keeping.  Figure out some ways that will help you keep them.  For example, I've come up with a mantra: "That's Me".  I've decided to make 2011 all about me, and every decision I make will be based on whether or not it makes me happy.  So, whenever I need to make a decision or come across something that I may want to do, I figure out if "that's me" and if it is, I do it.  Pretty simple right?  If a mantra isn't your thing, try on picking out a theme song that you can play in your head when things get real and you feel yourself about to give up.  There are actually several songs that play in my head at any given time, but I've decided that my theme song for the year is going to be "Monster" by Kanye West, it gets me pumped in a very major way for so many different reasons.

Have a great new year folks.  I hope you can come up with some life changing vows.  And even if you don't, just continue to live the best one that you can.  That's all that matters anyway.