Take My Country...Please!!

*pressing play on “Battle Hymn of the Republic”* We gonna need some mood music for this one.

Okay, so thanks to a couple of FB friends I've decided to explore patriotism and what not.  Honestly, I’m not sure what that even means so I looked it up.  Webster’s defines patriotism as: love for or devotion to one's country.

Innnnnteresting...welp, I believe it’s safe to say that I am NOT a member of this group.  This doesn’t mean that I’m not proud of my country or where I’m from, but in MY opinion most people who are so in love with something that they are DEVOTED to it are willing to die for it.  I can tell you without hesitation that there are very few things in this world that I'm willing to die for and the great U S of A is not one of them.  Sheeeeiiiiittt *Clay Davis voice*...it ain't even on my list of the top 1000 things worth dying for.

That said, I think I should be clear when I say that I am not anti-American or anti-troops or anti-anything that has to do with the protection of our country (within reason).    Anyway, I just had to make sure that you understand that I support those that put their life on the line for my freedoms.  I'm also honest enough to say that if push came to shove, I would not provide them the same courtesy.  If war comes to my front door...I'm moving. 

Anyway, like I was saying, patriotism.  A friend of mine had the following comment on FB:  

Here's one for ya! How come all the "Patriots" don't support the current President? If the President is on their team, they support him fine... If he's on their team, you HAVE to support the President, regardless of what he does, else you're not a patriot... But now, you can NOT support the President, and do it because you're a patriot. Figure that one out!

No friend, I won't try and figure this out.  Because the Patriots that you speak of don't have any fucking sense!!  Nothing that they ever say or do is logical.  They are for God and country but they never seem to do anything God-like and they don't even care for the leader of the damn country that they say that they love so much. 

Which brings me to the ultimate Patriot cry "Take Our Country Back"!!  A friend asked, "what do white people who want their country back want it back from?".  This is an awesome question because since all these fools have been yelling about taking their country back I've wondered what the answer was.  You should also know that a white guy asked this question, which means even white people get confused by crazy white folks shenanigans at times.  This knowledge also made me feel better because I thought it was just me. 

So, Patriots? You wanna take your country back from what exactly?  Who took it away?  And once you get it back, exactly where are you trying to take the country to?  Considering the history of this great land and the fact that it was TAKEN from the Native Americans I feel like they are the only group of people who have a right to take anything back.  But for the fun's sake, I'll play along.  I have a suggestion for where you can take the country back to: Bill Clinton's terms as President.  Did you think I was going to say something else? Well, you don't have to go too far back to fix the fuck ups.   Take us back to the days of Clinton please so that we can:  

1. enjoy a budget SURPLUS
2. fill our cars up with cheap gas
3. figure out how to theft proof any future elections
4. watch Arsenio Hall
5. pick interns without judgement

I could go on, but that's my top 5.  Anyway, Patriots I'm done talking about you today.  But you should know that I've added you to my list of things that make my ass itch.  You are currently in a 4-way tie with Gucci Mane, Wacka Flocka, and white shoes.  Congrats.