Ripped from the Headlines: Man Slaps Baby On Plane, After Calling The Kid A Nigger

So the yesterday my homie Money Mike the King of All Goons, sent me this article:
FEBRUARY 15--After demanding that the mother of a crying toddler “shut that nigger baby up,” a male passenger allegedly slapped the 19-month-old across the face as a flight prepared to land in Atlanta last Friday evening, The Smoking Gun has learned.

The shocking February 8 incident aboard Delta Airlines Flight 721 resulted in Joe Rickey Hundley, 60, being charged with simple assault, according to a U.S. District Court affidavit. Hundley, seen at right, is president of an aircraft parts manufacturer headquartered in Hayden, Idaho.

In an interview, Hundley denied striking the toddler or using a racial slur, though he did acknowledge that he “asked the mother to quiet the child.” Hundley, who said he was traveling to Atlanta to visit a hospitalized relative, described himself as “distraught” on the flight, during which he said he consumed a single alcoholic drink.

As detailed by FBI Agent Daron Cheney, Hundley was traveling to Atlanta from Minneapolis in seat 28A on the MD-90 twin-engine jet. He was seated next to Jessica Bennett, who shared seat 28B with her son Jonah.

Bennett, 33, told investigators that the “aircraft was in final descent” to Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport when her child “started to cry due to the altitude change.” Bennett added that she “was trying to get [her son] to stop crying, but he continued.”

At this point, Bennett recalled, Hundley used the racial epithet as he told her to shut the child up. He then allegedly “turned around and slapped” the toddler in the face “with an open hand, which caused the juvenile victim to scream even louder.” The slap, Bennett said, “caused a scratch below [the child’s] right eye.”

After Hundley hit the child, Agent Cheney reported, Bennett received assistance from several other passengers, including Todd Wooten, who was in seat 16C. Wooten told agents that he “heard derogatory language coming from the rear of the aircraft” and got up to investigate. “According to Mr. Wooten,” Cheney noted, “he saw Joe Rickey Hundley strike” the toddler.

Bennett told TSG that she believed Hundley was intoxicated when he boarded the plane, adding that he “reeked of alcohol” and was “stumbling around wasted.” Bennett, who was traveling to a family funeral, said that Hundley drank several double vodkas during the two-hour flight and complained to her that her adopted son, seen at left, was too big to be a “lap baby.” Bennett’s Facebook profile photo shows her holding Jonah when he was a baby.

Hundley was charged this week with simple assault, according to a criminal complaint filed in federal court in Atlanta. If convicted of the misdemeanor count, he faces a maximum of one year in prison.

According to Virginia state court records, Hundley was arrested in 2007 following a fight with his girlfriend. Initially charged with simple assault, carrying a concealed weapon, and public intoxication, Hundley subsequently pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor assault rap. Hundley told TSG that the weapon he allegedly brandished was a wine corkscrew.

(source)

I'm gonna be honest and tell you that I didn't finish the entire article. I blacked out after I read that this motherfucker put his hands on the baby. 

My first thought when I came to?

I wish I may, I wish I might, cut the first clown that tries me tonight. 

I knew in .000035268 seconds what my reaction would have been in this situation. In no uncertain terms, I would have tried to rip that man's heart out through the back of his head.

Some of you may think that this is an overreaction. Judge me if you want. But there are 2 rules that I have that should never, ever, EVER be broken: 1. Don't touch me. 2. Don't touch my child. 

I am a strong believer in personal space. Gimme my 50 feet please and thank you. All violators of #1 will be issued a summons. And by summons I mean cussed all the way out. When it comes to touching my kid though? A summons is no where near punishment enough. 

The punishment for violating rule #2 is corporal. 

I swear to GAWD! I would have jumped on his back like a spider monkey and proceeded to wring all sources of life from his person.

I'm completely certain that the headline would have read: "Mother of Child Who Was Slapped By Geriatric Assclown Brings Whole Damn Plane Down in a Fit of Rage" or something like that. The skies would have been so damn unfriendly.

You wanna see some shit shut down? Put your hand on my kid without my explicit permission.

I'm going to be on you in such an epic Tasmanian Devil like manner that you won't even be able to defend yourself before your ass has been kicked 2 or 3 times. 

You want to hit my seed? No sir. Not acceptable at anytime.  You wanna slap kids and think that everything is all good? Nah, son. We don't play those kind of games.

That's grounds for major clap back. 

The great poet Tupac Shakur once said, "I'm not a killer, put don't push me." This is the kind of mess that would push me all the way over the edge. 

I give zero fucks about how your family is gonna feel at your funeral sir. Touch what's mine and there's gonna be some slow singin' and flower bringin'. Period.

This is another sign that the King Jesus is gassing up his chariot for the Rapture. Ain't no way he's gonna let the world keep spinning when foolishness like this is happening. Ain't no way.

Sing, Sing, Celebrate: Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Ratchet Artists Who Love Him

Today we celebrate the birth of one of the greatest civil rights leaders in our nations history, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

 Many of us will honor his memory by participating in service projects. Others will relax and take advantage of the day off from work. 

Because MLK would say "way to go bro" on the National Mall...

And then there are the other citizens of the universe who will sit at their computers for hours scouring the innanets for pictures and then work diligently trying to tie together, Dr. King, President Obama, Nelson Mandela, Malcolm X, James Brown, Trayvon Martin, and their cousin Day Day. All in the name of the dream.

There will be galas, brunches, parades, and all other manners of celebrations in his honor. Including this soiree put on by the Pensacola Power Circle:

Excuse me for a moment while I close my eyes and wish that this shit ain't here when I open them again.

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Damn. Didn't work. Welp, this one gets the blankest of stares and the most epic side-eye a girl can muster.

This is the part of black culture that I hate. My people can always find a way to take something that is respectful and honorable and create the most ratchet shit ever.

Really? We just gonna take a picture of The King and throw some Beats by Dre's on him? What exactly is this for? Are we tryna give the man street cred? 

I wish my mind was feeble, so that I could understand what is really going on. Okay, I'm lying. I'm pretty proud that my mind doesn't work this way. I think it's utterly disrespectful to put some Beats by Dre's on The King. Everybody knows he enjoyed the smooth sound of Thelonious Monk being played on his trusty victrola. 

I just know when folks walk in there will be nothing but the distinctive aroma of weed, sweat, and failure. 

I thought that nothing could get worse than turning the King into a 106 & Park VJ...then I saw this...

MLK bad looking like a bag o'money...

I should have known nothing good would come of it when I saw that the B.O.S.S.N.I.G.G.A.Z. were the one's putting on the function. I mean, I guess it makes sense though seeing as how it's all for Bad Bitch Sunday...

Although, I'm certain that the good Doctor relaxed with a nice glass of Henny every now and again, I'm pretty sure that he would never chill in front of somebody's Nikon flexing with the church offering and one of the members of the Mother Board in her draws. 

Why is this okay? Who approved this shit? I'm just know that there is one of these floating around with the man chilling in a wicker chair with 2 or 3 hoes on his lap or planking on a stack of money in front of a Biggie/Tupac airbrushed backdrop. Because that's what he was all about really. Money, hoes, and equality for all.

Pinky rings, Polo's, and processes...

I don't even have the words... so I'll just show you my reaction...

The people of the world with good common sense would like to request that all of you bootleg computer artists cease and desist. You are making us all look bad. And you are making the Good Lord   reconsider not rebooting the matrix. 

It's Been A Long Time...I Shouldna Left You

The following post is a summary of why I thought the Mayan calendar was right and that shit was gonna get really real for us on December 21.

A few months ago a friend of mine (and I use the word friend loosely) sent me this jewel from a precious little lamb named Trinidad James: 

It took me a full 7-10 business days to realize this shit wasn't a joke. Like this dude is dead damn serious. Rapping about mollies, gold, and niggas. All while looking like he just might be one of the last folks to step off the Underground Railroad.

I just knew that this guy was a sign that the Mayans were right. When he signed a record deal with Def Jam, I went into Doomsday Prepper mode. I hit Safeway shelves for non-perishables, toilet paper, batteries, and bottled water.

Then this happened:

A Tyler Perry movie that I think I want to see. I don't think I have to say anything more. Just know that after this happened, I began watching the sky for locusts and checking to see if the Patapsco River was flowing blood instead of water.

One of my followers sent me a video. It's Ices Brown. I said a little prayer before I pressed play. Then this happened:

First of all...why is this chick so damn greasy? Look like she bobbed for wings and thighs in Precious' bucket of chicken. This purple shirt got her giving all kinds of Grimace realness. And don't even get me started on the fact that she don't even know the words to the dang song!!

When I tell you I got down on my knees and prayed to the Good Lord for help?!? Y'all just don't understand. Ices took me to the edge and I was gonna voluntarily take a swan dive off. I also seriously considered tunneling a bunker under my apartment building. When things like this are happening in the world, you just can't take chances.

But even with all of this calamity, the world didn't end. Sweet Baby Jesus' Daddy said he chooses the hour and the minute that the world's rotations stops. It's gonna be a surprise. But that doesn't mean that y'all can keep letting foolishness happen. We have to stop giving him reasons to push fast forward. 

Let's do better in 2013. Please.

Election 2012: Real Life Foolishness

2012 is an election year. I'm not going to talk about who you should be voting for. I'm not going to discuss whether or not your decision is right or whether it's wrong.  In fact, I'm not going to say much at all.

I'm gonna let this here picture speak for itself. I'm just going tell you that as much as I *heart* ratchetness and tomfoolery, this kind of ignorance is not acceptable.

Word?

Shirts like this let me know that as much as people would like to say that things are different, they really aren't.

Everyone Is NOT A Winner

Me and a friend were having a conversation the other day.

This friend was explaining to me how you can no longer cut children from teams or school activities.  Now because my child is younger, I'm not well versed on all the ins and outs of school sports politics.  I only know about shit like wee ball, youth basketball, and kung fu (The Kid is a beast with the left chop-right kick combo y'all).

Anyway, we were talking about how some of these kids that aren't cut suck donkey balls at whatever sport they are playing.  But because of the rule you have to let them play.

In my opinion, and here in Tee's World we know it's the only one that matters, that's WACK!!! If you suck you shouldn't be on the team. Point blank period.  Be a towel boy, go fetch water, shit join the Team Trainer Corps, but get the entire fuck off the field!!!

I hate the idea that all kids get a ribbon.  The fact that there are no losers anymore is what's wrong with the world.

I call it the pussification[1] of our youth.

Pussification is one of the reasons bullying is so rampant these days.  Everybody wants to be nice and there are no consequences for the kids that are wack.  Look, I've been bullied it's not fun.  And I'm not saying that it's not a real problem. What I'm saying is the way that these problems are being addressed are not the correct way.  When I was being bullied I ran home crying.  You want to know what happened? Big Daddy locked me out of the fucking house and told me not to bring my crying ass home until somebodies ass was kicked. I've carried that lesson in my heart and soul since I was 7 years old.  The last person that tried to bully me ended up with an eye patch for the Summer.[2]


And you want to know what else? I've been cut from teams. And I cried about it and I felt bad. But you want to know what happened? Big Mama said, "Girl get it together. So what you ain't make it on THAT team. You're good enough to make another." And I believed her.  I found something that I was good at and I did make another team. And we were ALL-STARS.

But these days, instead of playing outside, working hard at your craft, practicing hand to hand combat, and learning how not to be an all around loser, we've got a generation of vitamin D deficient simps who don't know battle outside of a fucking Worlds of Warcraft level.

Truthfully, it's really not the kids faults.  I blame the parents.  I'm quite sure the reason why everybody gets a ribbon on my sons b-ball team is because little LuQuane's daddy was extra wacktackular with his crossover and got cut from every team in every league in his hometown.  So now we have to suffer through watching LuQuane fumble, fall, and score goals for the other team because his daddy just wasn't good enough.

Fuck that.

I say bring back team cuts.  Bring back the sucky feeling you get when you get 2nd. Bring back the big shiny trophies and medals for first and the bargain bin homemade ribbons for everybody else. Bring back touchdown celebration dances and the art of talking shit to your opponent.  Bring back intimidation and the ability to make your opponent feel like they belong on the bottom of your shoe.

It's what the world needs.

Pussification is the reason why some many of today's youth are making piss poor decisions. No way a kid who knows the feeling of real life consequences would walk out of the house like this:

Seriously ma'am?

Only people who have walked pussified streets would feel safe walking around like this with no fear of retribution.

This ain't right!!

Pussification is the reason why Drake sells out stadiums.

Pussification is the reason why a man wearing skin tight chartreuse skinny jeans is acceptable.

Pussification is the reason why McDonald's started selling microscopic fries with their Happy Meals.

Pussification is the reason why folks like Rush Limbaugh can pop off without feeling the loving force of 5 knuckles to his jaw immediately afterward.

*sigh* Y'all gonna get enough of letting shit like this slide.  I fully expect someone like this to end up being the POTUS and there won't be anything any of us can do about it.  Hopefully, the Good Lord will see fit to press pause on Earth's rotation before then.

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[1]Pussification: v. the act of turning something into a pussy. Also see bitch made, punk, aintshit.
[2]True story.
.

Ummmmm.....thanks?

So today some friends and I were talking about compliments.  We had run across a blog were the girl was super upset that someone had called her "cute".  Apparently, because she was a grown ass woman being called anything but "grown and sexy" is offensive.

I can dig it.  There are a lot of things that people call me that I don't particularly care for.  One of them is "shawty".  I happen to be on the smaller end of the stature stick, but there's not reason for folks to be rubbing it in my face.  I have to own up to it every time my 7 year old has to get something off the top shelf for me.  OK, so I know it's some pseudo term of endearment for folks that live down South, but damn, some of us are sensitive. Shit.

Anyway, I don't particularly think "cute" is a bad word.  Mainly, because I think I'm cute.  I have a delightfully appealing face.  I'm just that awesome.  If more people in the world were as cute as me, we would have world peace and the economy would stabilize. 

Alright, I'm getting off topic.  My awesomeness is not what I wanted to talk about today.  What I wanted to say was, sometimes people think that they are giving you a compliment when it could quite possibly be the absolute wrong thing to say.

For example, today I wore my hair wrapped.  Think Erykah Badu in the "On and On" video, but not as huge.  Anyway, a coworker says to me "Tee, I love your headpiece.  You look so warm and interesting.  You always put yourself together so well."

Warm and interesting? What the fuck does that mean?

Warm and interesting? What the hell do you do with that?  Most of you would say "say thank you you dumbass", but I really didn't want to.

Why?

Because I'm me.  And I know that when I say things like a person looks "warm and interesting" it really means that they look like a hot, steaming, fresh pile of shit.  Warm and interesting sounds like a way a dude would describe his girlfriends homely roommate when he's trying to hook her up with one of his friends.  Warm and interesting is eating a nice, hot plate of mystery meat.  Warm and interesting are fighting words.  A damn declaration of war.  That's what the hell warm and interesting are.  Shit.

And I was kind of offended by the "you put yourself together so well" comment too.  I mean, we were at work.  The fuck I'm supposed to do? Come in there looking like I was rooming under the overpass with Ted Williams?  I work in a professional environment, looking put together is part of my job.  Tomorrow, I'm going to wear a pair of pajama pants and my son's Transformer house slippers.  See what she thinks about that.

I'm sure I'm being overly sensitive.  My husband thinks that I am.  I guess I should concentrate on the fact that what she said was positive overall.  But, whatever for that.  From now on I'm going to be dropping all kinds of underhanded jewels on her ass.  She's not going to know what hit her.

And I would totally rock Hubby's oversensitive argument if a different coworker hadn't come to me about an hour later with this foolishness: "Tee.  You look so pretty! I love those colors in your headwrap.  You look very African!"

Say what?

Really, ma'am? Really?  I mean, in case you haven't noticed I'm black.  At last count, I'd been black all my life.  I look African every damn day.

Seriously though.  Where do I find the compliment in that?  I need someone to show me. Because if I had said some shit like, "Guten Tag, Betsey.  You looking really German today" somebody would have filed a grievance on me.

Now for those of you that know me in real life, you know that NOT saying what I wanted to say was hard.  Acting with tact and diplomacy in these types of situations is rather difficult for me. 

You know that if this had happened over on MLK, Jr. Boulevard things would have been way different.  I totally would have given those old hoes an epic beatdown. Verbally and otherwise.

The world would've been 2 grandmas short.  That's all I'm saying.

You people need to get your acts together.  You can't just be popping off with this kind of shit all willy nilly.  It takes skill and complete disregard for humankind and their feelings to combine a bullshit compliment with a lightweight diss and come up with something so devasting that it makes your self-esteem dig a hole to China. 

If you can't do that, just keep your piehole shut.  You're only going to piss me off.

YouTube Shenanigans: Pretty Ricky

File this one under "Extra Wacktackular".  Is anyone else as disturbed by this foolishness as I am?  Somebody is still letting these fools make records? Pleasure P is probably somewhere on his knees thanking 6 lb. 6 oz. baby Jesus that he escaped when he did.  I know I would be.

P.S.  I think I'd use this time to formally state that I believe that the name "Pretty Ricky" is one of the biggest misnomers in the history of the universe. 

P.P.S.  The fact that somebody even gave them a budget to make this record and film the video is another sign that the world is ending.  I don't know how many times I have to tell you folks to get your lives right but....dammit, get it done!

I'm Luvin It! (Not)

So let me get this straight. You mean to tell me that this lady really wants to sue Mickey D's because she doesn't like how the toys entice children? Is she really serious? 

<Excuse me while I clear my throat> *ahem, ahem...ahem* BITCH PLEASE!

Does she not understand that this is what the hell toys are for??!! To ENTICE kids! She does say that she doesn't want money though, she only wants them to have healthier food options.  It's fuckin fast food.  That means burgers, fries, nuggets, and what not.  You're not gonna get everything on the food pyramid in your meal here people.  Exactly how healthy does the menu have to be? What the hell are apple dippers? Fruit and yogurt parfaits? Smoothies?  That's about as healthy as it should get in my opinion.  You need more than that then take your ass down to the Picadilly and get the vegetarian special or some shit.  Don't hate on the Happy Meal.  Don't hate on one of the things that has brought happiness to billions and billions of children served all over the world.

I'll tell you right now.  I'm all about a Happy Meal and so is the son. The reason we go to McDonald's is to get greasy cheesburgers, awesome fries, and icy Coca-Cola.  It's quick, it's hot, it's delicious.  And yes we go because the damn toys.  Shit, truth be told, I was over the moon when they were giving away mini Pound Puppies and My Little Ponies.  I hadn't seen those since Summer 1986, I wasn't about to let them pass me by.  And here you are trying to tell me that because YOU don't like the way they market to children that they have to shut shit down. Negatory!! Silly rabbit, they can market to kids all they want.  Kids don't have money.  They are banking on spineless, gutless parents like you who don't have the ability to say no to their bossy, whiny ass kids to come and collect all 100 Hello Kitty's or Hot Wheels cars or whatever the hell they are stuffing in the bags that week.  So, it would seem to me that the issue isn't McDonald's marketing and it's not your kid.  It's YOU. 

I bet you didn't have very many friends when you were growning up.  I bet you were the kid that snitched on all the kids that did fun shit because your parents wouldn't let you come out of the yard for more than 15 minutes at a time.  You seem like the type that takes being a wet blanket seriously.  You need to keep that shit other there where you rest because it don't fly with me.  You want your kid to eat carrot sticks, rice cakes, and soy milk?  That's cool.  But keep that on YOUR dinner table.  I just hope you understand that if you win this one, you are ruining your kids life not making it better.  Nobody wants to be friends with the kid who's Mommy took away all the Happy Meal toys.  You may want to take that into consideration while you are way up there on your high horse.  Because the little one is going to be lonely as hell and you are going to have to entertain her because Timmy and Tara across the street ain't gonna have shit to do with her.  Taking away a kids ability to play is like hiding a crackheads pipe.  They get creative and violent in their quest for an alternative.  No telling what kind of payback they could come up with.  Do you really want that for your little one?

I don't see anything wrong with a child eating a burger every now and again.  As long as they don't end up on one of Maury Povich's fat baby shows or as the youngest contest on The Biggest Loser, you're doing good.  Everybody knows that a child needs fruits and veggies and shit to grow up big and strong.  No moron is going to feed their seed a diet of only fries and burgers.  So let the kid have a damn McNugget and a toy and shut the hell up.  Don't steal a child's joy because you don't approve.  You and people like you get on my damn nerves.

Take My Country...Please!!

*pressing play on “Battle Hymn of the Republic”* We gonna need some mood music for this one.

Okay, so thanks to a couple of FB friends I've decided to explore patriotism and what not.  Honestly, I’m not sure what that even means so I looked it up.  Webster’s defines patriotism as: love for or devotion to one's country.

Innnnnteresting...welp, I believe it’s safe to say that I am NOT a member of this group.  This doesn’t mean that I’m not proud of my country or where I’m from, but in MY opinion most people who are so in love with something that they are DEVOTED to it are willing to die for it.  I can tell you without hesitation that there are very few things in this world that I'm willing to die for and the great U S of A is not one of them.  Sheeeeiiiiittt *Clay Davis voice*...it ain't even on my list of the top 1000 things worth dying for.

That said, I think I should be clear when I say that I am not anti-American or anti-troops or anti-anything that has to do with the protection of our country (within reason).    Anyway, I just had to make sure that you understand that I support those that put their life on the line for my freedoms.  I'm also honest enough to say that if push came to shove, I would not provide them the same courtesy.  If war comes to my front door...I'm moving. 

Anyway, like I was saying, patriotism.  A friend of mine had the following comment on FB:  

Here's one for ya! How come all the "Patriots" don't support the current President? If the President is on their team, they support him fine... If he's on their team, you HAVE to support the President, regardless of what he does, else you're not a patriot... But now, you can NOT support the President, and do it because you're a patriot. Figure that one out!

No friend, I won't try and figure this out.  Because the Patriots that you speak of don't have any fucking sense!!  Nothing that they ever say or do is logical.  They are for God and country but they never seem to do anything God-like and they don't even care for the leader of the damn country that they say that they love so much. 

Which brings me to the ultimate Patriot cry "Take Our Country Back"!!  A friend asked, "what do white people who want their country back want it back from?".  This is an awesome question because since all these fools have been yelling about taking their country back I've wondered what the answer was.  You should also know that a white guy asked this question, which means even white people get confused by crazy white folks shenanigans at times.  This knowledge also made me feel better because I thought it was just me. 

So, Patriots? You wanna take your country back from what exactly?  Who took it away?  And once you get it back, exactly where are you trying to take the country to?  Considering the history of this great land and the fact that it was TAKEN from the Native Americans I feel like they are the only group of people who have a right to take anything back.  But for the fun's sake, I'll play along.  I have a suggestion for where you can take the country back to: Bill Clinton's terms as President.  Did you think I was going to say something else? Well, you don't have to go too far back to fix the fuck ups.   Take us back to the days of Clinton please so that we can:  

1. enjoy a budget SURPLUS
2. fill our cars up with cheap gas
3. figure out how to theft proof any future elections
4. watch Arsenio Hall
5. pick interns without judgement

I could go on, but that's my top 5.  Anyway, Patriots I'm done talking about you today.  But you should know that I've added you to my list of things that make my ass itch.  You are currently in a 4-way tie with Gucci Mane, Wacka Flocka, and white shoes.  Congrats. 

YouTube Shenanigans

While most people spend their down time doing productive shit like reading, writing, and raising their children, I surf YouTube for foolishness, tomfoolery, and shenanigans.  The following video is all three rolled into one.



This guy just singlehandedly set my people back a zillion years.  I fully expect to see a story about Jim Crow being reinstated and where to pick up my shackles on the news tomorrow.  Thanks kid.