I'm Luvin It! (Not)

So let me get this straight. You mean to tell me that this lady really wants to sue Mickey D's because she doesn't like how the toys entice children? Is she really serious? 

<Excuse me while I clear my throat> *ahem, ahem...ahem* BITCH PLEASE!

Does she not understand that this is what the hell toys are for??!! To ENTICE kids! She does say that she doesn't want money though, she only wants them to have healthier food options.  It's fuckin fast food.  That means burgers, fries, nuggets, and what not.  You're not gonna get everything on the food pyramid in your meal here people.  Exactly how healthy does the menu have to be? What the hell are apple dippers? Fruit and yogurt parfaits? Smoothies?  That's about as healthy as it should get in my opinion.  You need more than that then take your ass down to the Picadilly and get the vegetarian special or some shit.  Don't hate on the Happy Meal.  Don't hate on one of the things that has brought happiness to billions and billions of children served all over the world.

I'll tell you right now.  I'm all about a Happy Meal and so is the son. The reason we go to McDonald's is to get greasy cheesburgers, awesome fries, and icy Coca-Cola.  It's quick, it's hot, it's delicious.  And yes we go because the damn toys.  Shit, truth be told, I was over the moon when they were giving away mini Pound Puppies and My Little Ponies.  I hadn't seen those since Summer 1986, I wasn't about to let them pass me by.  And here you are trying to tell me that because YOU don't like the way they market to children that they have to shut shit down. Negatory!! Silly rabbit, they can market to kids all they want.  Kids don't have money.  They are banking on spineless, gutless parents like you who don't have the ability to say no to their bossy, whiny ass kids to come and collect all 100 Hello Kitty's or Hot Wheels cars or whatever the hell they are stuffing in the bags that week.  So, it would seem to me that the issue isn't McDonald's marketing and it's not your kid.  It's YOU. 

I bet you didn't have very many friends when you were growning up.  I bet you were the kid that snitched on all the kids that did fun shit because your parents wouldn't let you come out of the yard for more than 15 minutes at a time.  You seem like the type that takes being a wet blanket seriously.  You need to keep that shit other there where you rest because it don't fly with me.  You want your kid to eat carrot sticks, rice cakes, and soy milk?  That's cool.  But keep that on YOUR dinner table.  I just hope you understand that if you win this one, you are ruining your kids life not making it better.  Nobody wants to be friends with the kid who's Mommy took away all the Happy Meal toys.  You may want to take that into consideration while you are way up there on your high horse.  Because the little one is going to be lonely as hell and you are going to have to entertain her because Timmy and Tara across the street ain't gonna have shit to do with her.  Taking away a kids ability to play is like hiding a crackheads pipe.  They get creative and violent in their quest for an alternative.  No telling what kind of payback they could come up with.  Do you really want that for your little one?

I don't see anything wrong with a child eating a burger every now and again.  As long as they don't end up on one of Maury Povich's fat baby shows or as the youngest contest on The Biggest Loser, you're doing good.  Everybody knows that a child needs fruits and veggies and shit to grow up big and strong.  No moron is going to feed their seed a diet of only fries and burgers.  So let the kid have a damn McNugget and a toy and shut the hell up.  Don't steal a child's joy because you don't approve.  You and people like you get on my damn nerves.