Mink, Lynx, Chinchilla...Oh My!!

I hate Winter.  I hate being cold.  I hate snow.  I hate ice.  I hate it all.  And I normally don't use the word "hate", because I feel like it's way too strong of a word to use in most instances.  Like, I feel like you can seriously despise something, and most people inappropriately use the word "hate" to describe that.  But in MY opinion for you to HATE something means that if you saw it (whatever it is) on the side of the road engulfed in flames you wouldn't stop long enough to squat over it and piss on it to put it out.  THAT'S hate.  And that's how I feel about Winter and everything that goes with it. 

Cold weather, snow, Jack Frost, Punxsutawney Phil, Baby New Year, Kris Kringle?  Every single one of them can kiss my ass!  Right now I'm feeling particularly pissed towards that son-of-a-bitch Jack.  His ass is working overtime sprinkling the world with snow and ice, freezing shit, and blowing cold air all over the place.  I'm over it.  Being cold is the most uncomfortable thing for me.  I have to work overtime to stay warm.  Mittens, coats, toe socks, thermal underwear.  I overutilize all of these things and I often end up looking like the little brother from the Christmas Story.  You know the one who has on so much crap that he can't get up when he falls down?  That's Tee.  Which brings me to another thing about winter that irritates me...people that don't like fur.

Now I know you are wondering: "Tee, what the hell do those people have to do with winter?" Well, dammit, if you gimme some time I'll tell you.  Now before I say what I'm about to say, I want you to know that I'm not an animal lover.  I mean, I won't be stringing up puppies or anything anytime soon, but I don't lose my mind over baby kittens, bears, and monkeys.  I just don't.  But I also don't walk around telling vegetarians how lame they are for not partaking in a nice tender piece of cow or chicken every now and again.  So it pisses me off whenever I hear about someone getting cussed out, or paint tossed on them, or receiving hate  for wearing animal skins.

That's pure foolishness to me people.  If I could afford it I'd have the pelt of every furry animal from hamster to chinchilla in my closet if it kept my ass from freezing during these East Cost winters.  I'm talking coats, boots, gloves, mittens, muffs, scarves, socks, and hats.  Hell, I'd even rock a fur bra and panty set,  if I knew for sure it would keep my nips off headlight status.  Yes, indeed.  Don't judge me.  Don't judge my love for alligator boots, butter soft cow leather handbags,  and fur coat and hat combos that make me look like the little chocolate offspring of Boris & Natasha.   That's just ME.  And as long as nobody bothers me for it, I won't bother them for the shit that they do that I think is dumb as hell. 

So in the Wintertime if you see me in the streets looking like this:


don't say shit unless you're stopping me to bask in the luxuriousness.