Ripped from The Headlines: Awwww Nuts!!!

So I know that the whole TSA full body scan vs. pat down is a hot topic these days.  I don't travel by air much but I don't recall too many problems when I have.  I did lose a fresh jar of moisturizer from The Body Shop once, but I don't think I was as upset about that as I should have been.  I think one of the TSA ladies probably pocketed it.  I know I would have. 

I honestly don't get what the big deal is about these body scans.  I'd rather them look through my clothes than touch me.  I mean, I'm sure that kind of through the clothes play is considered great fun in some circles but in mine we call it an "Unsafe Touch".  Those who ever had the "Stranger Danger" discussion with their parents or who have given it to their children know exactly what I'm talking about.  I'd much rather have those folks checking me out via an x-ray screen than having some unknown groping me like he's 16 year old boy in the back seat of his Ford Escort.

So, can you imagine being in the airport and having your junk on display for the most public "unsafe touch" in the universe? That's what happened to Percy Cummings of San Francisco, CA.  His story has a happy ending (hee hee hee) but....well just check out the link and we'll discuss this further when you come back.   

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=573

OK, so the story is a fake, but still I think it's hilarious. Especially the picture of the dude on his knees concentrating on his job so hard that he gave his victim a wedgie from the front. It's like watching a storyboard for the next special episode of Law & Order: SVU.  Is this the kind of thing that people are afraid of? I swear I don't recall anyone every touching me for more than a moment.  The only time I remember anyone I know getting felt up in a major way was my son's Pooh Bear.  Pooh had a safety pin holding his ass together and they had to make sure my 4 year old wasn't packing a bomb around.  And my boy didn't take to kindly to them manhandling Pooh.  When the dude grabbed the bear he stood up as tall as he could, did that point two fingers to his eyes and then the guy thing, and said "I'm watching you, buddy".  Hilarious.

So, have any of you been groped by TSA under the guise that they were just doing their job? What are you supposed to do when something like this happens? Which do you prefer a pat down or an x-ray? Does it really matter as long as the end result is safe flights? What say you?

Edited to add: Thank you SCB for the request! Hope I did okay. ;-)