Tattoo Fail of the Millenium NSFW!!!

Dear Friends,

The following tattoo is the WORST I've ever seen in my whole entire life, the life I had before, and the life I'll have after.  I really don't have any words to describe the level of ridiculousness in the following video.  You'll see.  Be forewarned this is NOT safe for work.


(source)

OK let's discuss.

Did you see that shit?  So at first I thought that the tattoo on her back was the problem and I was confused.  I mean it's kind of wack, but not too crazy. 

Then she dropped her draws....

Oh.  Em.  Gee!!!


Seriously?  Does this heffa seriously have her whole twat covered up with a member of the animal kingdom?   And it's not even a regular cat!  Like it could have been a Morris the Cat or Hello Kitty.  Hell, I'd even accept Snagglepuss! At least our favorite ghey kitty walks the town with a song in his heart and a smile on his face. 

Anything is better than the creep show that she's rocking right now.  That is a complete and utter mess. 

If you can get past the fact that she has a cat emblazened across her vulva, I'd like you to take note of the actual artwork.  Do you see those angry eyes?  Those teeth?  I wonder what the hell she was smoking when this bright idea popped in her head?  Probably a delightful meth/crack/paint fume cocktail.  That mess will have you doing all kinds of unsavory shit.  Like tatting a cat on your wahoo.

What I'd really like to know is who in the hell did this to her?  I my mind I imagine that any artist willing to do this kind of shit would have to have had a big ole bowl of Wheaties sprinkled with crack before pulling his tattoo gun out.  You would have to be some kind of high to say "OK" when a broad walks into your shop and says, "I'm looking for guy who can put a cat on my cat...get it?"



Sleepwalkers...classic movie.  Google it.

I hope she got exactly what she envisioned in her mind.  But I'm pretty sure she didn't.  I'm sure in her mind she saw something super sexy.  I believe that angry the cat that she is showing off was supposed to come across dark and sultry.  Like CatWoman or Cheetara. Instead she got a Sleepwalker!!

I don't know about you, but I'd be pissed.

Please believe me when I tell you: If I were a dude, there's absolutely no way I would allow my old friend Mr. Johnson to pay Miss Kitty a visit.  No way in hell.  Not even a quick wave from the porch across the street.  It looks like anything that gets close to that thing will be chewed up like it was in a trash compactor.  No ma'am.  I'm sure there's not a penis in the world that would entertain an angry cat with teeth.

And don't think that I missed those paws coming out of her hips.  She really stepped up the crazy quotient with that.  SMH With the placement of those paws the creepy cat face tattoo becomes the tattoo of the angry cat ripping it's way out of her uterus.  No bueno.

This right here has surpassed any other horrible tattoo I've ever seen in my life.  And I've seen some pretty horrible stuff.  This is worse than that dude that smelled "Bitchs".  It's worse than Gucci Mane's phallic ice cream cone.  It's worse than having a Mighty Duck reside on your left cheek (I see you Yung LA).  I would gladly accept a few more of those over this shit right here. 

Oh and I really love the makeup guys commentary when talking on the phone to someone who I assume is the producer or director of the porn she's trying to be cast for.  I can tell that he totally understands the feelings that I'm feeling right now.  Disgust.  Dismay.  Fear.  Sadness.  All of that is showing on his face.  And right now, it's showing up on mine too.

In a word, this is some bullshit.  Somebody should call shenanigans on this poor misled young lady's life.  She damn sure needs a do-over. 

But I know she wouldn't use it.  She's planning on making it worse.  She's going to pierce herself so it looks like the angry cat has a tongue. *blank stare* She's probably going to inspire a whole generation of dumbasses to anime their genitalia.  All I know is if I see any pictures of a dude with the cast of Dragon Ball Z on his peen I'm calling it quits.  I mean that.  I can't take much more of this kind of foolishness people.  I just can't.

By the way, those high winds you've been feeling weren't being stirred up by El Nino.  That was good Lord shaking his head vigorously while contemplating hitting the reset button on his universal stopwatch.  Get your lives right people.

For those of you keeping count: this is sign #486840306043319999.5 that the world is coming to an end.