Every morning during our commute from the mean streets of the burbs The Kid asks a question. Sometimes it's thought provoking, sometimes it's nonsensical, sometimes he just wants to know how to pronounce the name on the big rig next to us.
Today's question was a thought provoking one.
The Kid: Hey Mama, if you were a super hero what would your name and super power be?
Me: Hmmm, that's a good question.
The Kid: I'd be Stealth and be able to sneak up on people and scare the piss outta them!
Me: That sounds cool.
The Kid: So what would you be?
Me: My name would be the Silencer and my power would be making people shut the fuck up on command. With powers like that I could rule the world!
If I was the Silencer I would totally use my powers for good. I would travel around in my hot pink Silence Mobile (with purple flames and 22s) and use my catch phrase "Shut the entire fuck up!!!" on people who just don't know when to shut their damn pie holes.
I'd be available for baby showers and bat mitzvahs.
I'd heckle at Republican debates.
I'd swoop down on Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity and drop so many f-bombs that the FCC would have no choice but to shut them down.
I'd destroy reality television "housewives" with a few well placed "Boo! Bitch! Bye!" and they all will disappear.
Pretty Ricky would never be able to record another album. Neither would Wocka Flocka or Justin Beiber.
Yeah, being The Silencer would be pretty damn awesome. Just thinking about what I could do with my powers actually got me through a pretty rough day. Imagining how I would silence some people at the j-o-b was extremely damn therapeutic.
I don't want to be the only person having all the fun though. If you were a super hero, what would your name and super power be?
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