I spent last weekend in Las Vegas. It was super fabulous! I haven't had that much fun in a very, very long time. I love visiting that place and I know I'll be going back sometime soon.
Actually, I think I could live there. I mean, gambling is not an issue for me. I hate to lose and if I get rid of my scratch it's going to be on something I to accessorize my fabness or fill my belly.
But please don't think that becase I don't make a habit out of gambling that I don't know what I'm doing when I sit down at one of those tables friend. You should know that I straight housed this sweet little dealer named Helen from Taipei, Taiwan (it was on her name tag) for quite a few chips on the Blackjack table. I'm sure she'll be telling stories about my greatness for many years to come.
Anyway, like I was saying, I could live there. Not because of the gambling or the shopping, but because that place is the people watching mecca of the world!! Oh Em Gee!! So much damn foolishness and shenanigans going on!
I'm serious. I seriously had to take a seat on Las Vegas Boulevard. My mind literally overloaded on ratchetness and I shut the hell down. Some might say it was the delightful mix of sun + likka + lots of wholesome goodtimery that caused the blackout. But...nah....I can't say I'm going to blame it on that.
It was the frilly guy in all pink errthang highstepping down the street like his name was Naomi Campbell. (For the record, I totally didn't mean to snap my fingers and scream "WERKKKKK BITCH!!!")
It was the very husky girl in the extra petite booty shorts.
It was dusty Spiderman in a size smedium costume showcasing a ridiculous amount of moose knuckle.
It was the group of young men sprinting down the street in knee high argyle socks, suspenders, and very skimpy manties in an array of Springtime colors..
It was the guy in front of the M&M store who was so drunk off of his ass that he had to travel on his hands and knees, finally giving up and taking slumber on the sidewalk.
It was the one woman flash mob dancing to the music in her head in front of the Venetian.
There was plenty more, but just thinking about it is causing my heart to race.
Like I said, total shenanigan overload. But I loved every damn minute of it. I did have to hit a buffet to recuperate. But that hat didn't work out like I thought it would. Because as I tried to eat my plate of cheesecake and various other sugary sweet delectables, I watched one of y'all's MeMaw down a whole bottle Pinot, some crab legs, and a couple slabs of ribs. And then she proceeded to cuss out PaPaw for taking too long to help her up so she could get more.
Anyway, despite my near death by foolishness experience, I would totally pack my bags and move to the desert. That shit is the bomb!
Next time some of y'all will have to go with me! It would be such an awesome time.
Just be warned that if at any point in time I slow down and start walking 10-15 paces behind it's because I'm taking in some YOUR ratchetness and likely taking pics to preserve your shenanigans for a time when giggles are slow to come by.
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