Ripped from the Headlines: Stanky Leg

I'm posting this just to let you all know that dumbass criminals are not something that only the South can claim. Check this out...

MILFORD -- A man wanted for stealing 58 containers of deodorant from the Ocean State Job Lot store on Bridgeport Avenue in November was located and arrested on a warrant late last week.

Police said Joseph Mingolello concealed the 58 containers in his pants and then exited the store without paying. Mingolello allegedly pushed a store employee and tried to strike another when they approached him as he was leaving the store.

The incident occurred on Nov. 26. Mingolello of Jewett Avenue in Bridgeport was identified through video survelliance tapes, police said. The deodorant was valued at $188.

Mingolello was charged with third-degree robbery and sixth-degree larceny. He was held on $10,000 bond and is set to appear in state Superior Court in Milford on March 11. (source)

No mugshot was available, but I surely want to see this guy.  I imagine him to be a very small man with a very large crack/meth habit.  He wears a scraggly beard and a thin layer of filth to protect his skin from the third parties living on his clothes.  I describe him this way because only on stanking ass man would need this much Tussy.  And only a crackhead would think that he would get away with shoving that shit down his pant leg and trying to make a run for it.

I'm quite sure all of it wasn't for personal use.  Which begs the question: what in the hell is going on in Connecticut? Are times really that hard up there that folks are resorting to grand theft Arrid? Hell, I'm broke, but if I'm going to rob some folks for dry goods I'm going to go for the good stuff, like Gold Bond powder or something.

I really can't deal with this.  The simpleness of people has really amazed me today.  SMH