Reality Bites: Johnson v. Lozada

Chad Ochocinco nee' Johnson is having the best week ever.

First this happened.

On day 38 of wedded bliss somebody found condoms in the other's car and all hell broke loose.  And Chad decided to use his cerebellum for more than thoughts of stillettos and skinny jeans and gave Eve a shot to the noggin. He was arrested and told by a judge that he couldn't go anywhere near his boo.

Then....this happened.

On day 39 of harmonious matrimony Chad began feeling the fallout of his playing head games. Homeboy got cut by the Miami Dolphins and was left with a part-time reality gig.  It has to suck to be given a pink slip while you are recovering from having to force that county jail peanut butter sandwich and stale Kool-Aid down for dinner.

Until this happened.

On day 40 of this loving union VH1 decided to chuck the deuces at the reality show of him and his betrothed showing the world their undying love for each other. Boop! *NeNe Leakes voice*

And today THIS happened!!

On day 41 Evelyn flipped a table, hurled some Dom P at her assistant and decided that she was over it already.  And by COB she had filed papers to give her ChaddyPoo his name and number back.

So now that you are all caught up on the marital shenanigans of the Ochocinco's, let me ask you this.... Are you really surprised?

Like folks are all up in arms about this one like this wasn't a damn train wreck waiting to happen from the get go!  I mean he's a an attention whore with a women's shoe fetish who's privy to pastel skinny jeans and she's an angry sack chaser with a penchant for tossing dranks issues.

Nothing good can come from that.

41 damn days.

Some people are saying this whole mess is just karma coming back on her for all of her bad ass, loud talking, drink throwing, I-slept-with-your-husband-cuz-you-a-nonmothafuckin' factor BBW behavior.

I guess it's possible.  I mean every time I put bad shit out in the universe, I end up taking a blow to the head.

There's nothing like a TBI to get your mind right.

Others are saying that Evelyn shouldn't have been upset when she found the receipt for condoms. That she knew that Chad was about that philandering life before they said "I do" so she just should have carried it.

I guess that's possible too.  I mean, every time I learned about a boyfriend cheating on me I figured it was something that I did to make me deserve him being an aintshit piece of shit that can't keep his willy in his trousers.

There's nothing like being betrayed by the man that you love to make you gain some perspective on the world.

There are even some that say that Evelyn likely forced Chad into the situation by being verbally abusive.

Look, we all know that Evelyn has a slick mouth on her.  At times her tone alone is enough to make folks want to reach through the flat screen and shake the shit outta her.  And most likely she said some shit that took Chad to another level angry.

That doesn't make what Chad did acceptable on any level though.

Now he's been told by a judge that he can't go near his wife.  He's been told by his job to not show up.  He's been told by his side-hustle thanks but no damn thanks.

I'm sure his girlfriend BFF Terrell Owens is offering all kinds of support and love in his time of need.

Sucks to be him.  Gotta suck to be Evelyn too.

She's got no job. She's got no husband. She's got no television show. AND she's got no BFF because her homie tried to tell her to leave Chad's cheating ass alone.

Look, like I said. I don't condone domestic abuse of any kind. There are so many things that Evelyn and Chad could have done to handle their situation. Like....not get married.

As of Saturday I've been married for 4021 days.  All of those days haven't been easy.  It's quite likely that I've thought of murder and/or other felonious actions on at least 2000 of them.  But I never acted on it.  Well maybe twice, but there was no significant blood shed. So it doesn't count.

Marriage is HARD WORK. I don't think people really realize that.  They see all of the pomp and circumstance of the wedding and never take the time to consider what they are going to do the day after the wedding and the days after that.

Love is not enough.

Y'all better consider compatibility, trust, finances, work ethic, credit score, criminal record, how his/her family looks, and his/her entire genetic make up before you say I do.  It's not a game out here.

I really hope this is the beginning of the end of people allowing the world into their relationships and sharing all of their business on television and the innanets.  If not for all of the publicity I'm sure the 85 family could have figured out a way to work this out.

No relationship will be successful if EVERYBODY has an opportunity to see what's going on and comment.  Not one.

Oh and before I go, I have a small request.  While y'all all are out in these streets worrying about how Adam and Steve are trying to ruin the sanctity of marriage, please do Tee a favor and consider the damage that fools who only stay married for 41 days do to it too.