This has been a very trying week for me personally. Lots of stuff going on in my life that pretty much made me want to throw in the towel and go live with some Shaolin monks in silence. I even booked my flight.
But then The Kid gave me some advice that made everything make sense: "Haters gonna hate Mama."
Indeed.
And so, instead of heading to Staten Island to live amongst the mute and learn Kung Fu. I continued to apply my awesomeness to all of my endeavors and wouldn't you know it? Things got better.
Things got so much better that by the middle of the week instead of everything making me want to cry, I was laughing at the most inappropriate things. You know, as per my usual.
This morning a friend of mine, Lovely Lucian, posted an article about the Fokken twins. A pair of 69 year old women of the night.
When I tell you that the sheer audacity of this article brought Tee to tears? I don't think you would be able to fathom the amount of dew that covered my face.
69 year old flatbackers? For serious? There are really people out in these streets in search of geriatric tail and gummy BJs?
I can't.
But I did anyway. And you want to know what I found? The Fokken's made a movie!!!!!
These old broads really filmed themselves for perpetuity talking bout how that money from the state ain't putting bread on the table!! That spreading legs that have seen the beginning of time and all things since keeps them eating that good food like steaks and chops and shrimp?
And one of them is a dominatrix!! Say what? Exactly how does that work? She looks like you could blow her over with a feather, but she's got men willing to pay dubloons (or whatever the currency in Amesterdam is) for her to tell them to chill in a wet Depends for a few seconds longer as punishment?
This is killing me.
The article said one sister retired because she got arthritis and can't lift her legs like she used to.
Jesus be some Capsaicin.
Look folks, I know times are hard all over the world. I know a lot of your 401Ks are looking like Number Munchers had their monthly meeting all up and through your accounts. But I need for you to do me one good favor. Do NOT seek flatbacking as a way to supplement your retirement income. I understand that some of you don't have any other talents, but you need to find a way. Sell oranges on the side of the road. Braid hair. Shine shoes.
But don't ever let me hear about you giving up access to your ancient ovaries like that shit is what's hot in these streets.
Nobody wants to see old balls. I need you old men to keep those harnessed in whatever old me use to hold them up. I definitely don't want to hear about anybody paying to cuddle them.
In Tee's Universe, we don't play these kinds of games. All freaky XXX activity should be not be bartered but freely given away in the comforts of your own home. We don't care how old you are, we just don't want to see it in the streets!
*sigh*
I'm pretty sure this isn't a sign that the world is ending. I'm certain that the Fokken's went to grade school with 5 or 6 of The Disciples, so they understand their aintshit ways. Not saying they get a pass, just that when you have friends in high places sometimes you just get to wallow in your shenanigans a little longer than most.
So yeah, no 2012 on this one. But it IS a sign to get your life right. Stop spending all your coins on Farmville bucks and invest in yourself.
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