Somebody shared this video with me today. I found it hilarious. I think Diddy should do a remix with Creflo Dollar and Eddie Long.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Leave Kid's Stuff Alone
So the other day I read an article on The Huffington Post that pretty much said that there's a group somewhere in the world that that thinks Bert and Ernie should get hitched.
It was by far the dumbest shit that I've had to bear witness to in about 3 weeks.
I'm not gay, so I won't profess to understand the plight of the LGBT community. I have no idea what little LGBT children need. But I'm going to make the assumption that they would need some grownup dumbass messing with their entertainment just so he or she can feel better about....whatever.
This is so unneccesary. Bert and Ernie ain't gay. Not saying that all homosexual men fit into stereotypes of homosexual men but...look at these dudes.
Their wardrobes are not fly. Who really rocks the like horizontal and vertical striped shirts daily for the better part of 40 years? And what about that unibrow Bert rocks? Have you seen the decor in their crib?
Nah, those dudes are living the "I don't give a shit" hetero bachelor life. Sure Ernie sings to a rubber ducky, but I believe this is just a distraction from the fact that he only washes his ass every 2 weeks.
No way these guys are gay.
I personally think they get it in with Zoe and Prairie Dawn. I bet they come to the crib after night night time with Red Bull and Turkey Hill Lemonade and get shit poppin'.
And plus, if you really want to talk about gayness on Sesame Street, why on Earth are folks not talking about having The Count come out of the closet. That dude is the Liberace of puppets. That cape, those jewels, the atttitude. But then again...he could be a pimp. So, nevermind.
People really need to stop inserting grown folks issues into the lives of children. They don't care about this shit.
It was by far the dumbest shit that I've had to bear witness to in about 3 weeks.
I'm not gay, so I won't profess to understand the plight of the LGBT community. I have no idea what little LGBT children need. But I'm going to make the assumption that they would need some grownup dumbass messing with their entertainment just so he or she can feel better about....whatever.
This is so unneccesary. Bert and Ernie ain't gay. Not saying that all homosexual men fit into stereotypes of homosexual men but...look at these dudes.
Their wardrobes are not fly. Who really rocks the like horizontal and vertical striped shirts daily for the better part of 40 years? And what about that unibrow Bert rocks? Have you seen the decor in their crib?
Nah, those dudes are living the "I don't give a shit" hetero bachelor life. Sure Ernie sings to a rubber ducky, but I believe this is just a distraction from the fact that he only washes his ass every 2 weeks.
No way these guys are gay.
I personally think they get it in with Zoe and Prairie Dawn. I bet they come to the crib after night night time with Red Bull and Turkey Hill Lemonade and get shit poppin'.
And plus, if you really want to talk about gayness on Sesame Street, why on Earth are folks not talking about having The Count come out of the closet. That dude is the Liberace of puppets. That cape, those jewels, the atttitude. But then again...he could be a pimp. So, nevermind.
People really need to stop inserting grown folks issues into the lives of children. They don't care about this shit.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Love Potion #9
Look folks, I've been in the game for a long time. I've seen a lot of shit. I've done a lot of things. Some of it I'm not so proud of. Most of it I'm trying to do again.
I'll tell you one thing I've never done. I've never done dumb shit to try to make a man stay with me.
Why? I can't really say for sure. It's probably because I'm lazy as hell and the time and effort that it would take to conjure up some kind of scheme would cut into my sleep time. If you know me, you know I'm serious about my 8 hours (or more) of good rest. Nothing comes between Tee and her z's. Not even the threat of a man leaving me. I just ask that he turn out all the lights and close the door quietly upon his exit. I'll make sure he didn't steal any coins from my Crown Royal bag or silverware when I wake up.
And also, who are we kidding? We are talking about me. Who would really fix his mouth to say he's leaving ME? Any man who is brave enough to depart from the life of one so fine, intelligent, and awe inspiring as Tee has got to be out of his mind and not someone that I need to have in my life anyway.
That's how I know that because of my laziness and overall ability to not really give a shit I would never have to do something like this (if you don't want to deal with all manners of hoodrat folly skip to around 4:00):
(source)
Soooooo....there's really a niche for shit like this? Broads are trying to lock dudes down under the guise of delicous snacks and treats?!
If I was Betty Crocker and Duncan Hines I'd sue these heffas like a motherfucker. Talk about complete and utter disregard and disrespect for there businesses objectives. I'm quite sure when they were writing up the business plans they did not list hoes using their mixes as a carrier for potions made from excretions as a goal.
I have so many questions.
What in the entire fuck is really going on with those damn pannies? Instead of trying to keep her man, homegirl should have been somewhere seeking treatment. No way that amount of discharge is ever healthy.
Why does the chef think is cool to scrape yeast out of those said pannies in the sink over what will be tonights dinner? What if some fallout gets in your chicken tenders? Now your babies are following this bitch around like she's Mother Goose.
Why is the camera woman so damn calm? I would have ran from that house dialing 911 and screaming. I don't think I've ever been in the prescence of a sociopath. I imagine sitting in the kitchen with that broad would've felt like chilling with BTK or Ted Bundy on one of their busiest days. No way I would've kept that camera steady. It woulda been like "The Blair Witch Project" in that bitch.
Is this legal? I'm serious. This has got to be some form of assault. And I know when homeboy gets wind of this video there's gonna be another one. I'm not for smacking women around but if dude wanted to get a good grip on her shoulders and shake the shit out of her for this one, I'd totally understand. Shit like this warrants the dispensing of a black eye or two.
Look if there ever comes a point in your like where you think contaminating confections with excretions and/or excrement is the move to make him stay...break up. If nothing that you've done before that point has been enough to make him stay, quit playing you, or act like he has some sense, he's not worth it. Trust and believe he's not going to be changing the chemical makeup of some break-n-bakes for your ass.
Y'all need to stop this shit. Thirst and desperation is so unattractive. Keep acting this way and he's going to be sharing his special cake with his new girl and then your dumb ass will have two aint shit roommates.
I'll tell you one thing I've never done. I've never done dumb shit to try to make a man stay with me.
Why? I can't really say for sure. It's probably because I'm lazy as hell and the time and effort that it would take to conjure up some kind of scheme would cut into my sleep time. If you know me, you know I'm serious about my 8 hours (or more) of good rest. Nothing comes between Tee and her z's. Not even the threat of a man leaving me. I just ask that he turn out all the lights and close the door quietly upon his exit. I'll make sure he didn't steal any coins from my Crown Royal bag or silverware when I wake up.
And also, who are we kidding? We are talking about me. Who would really fix his mouth to say he's leaving ME? Any man who is brave enough to depart from the life of one so fine, intelligent, and awe inspiring as Tee has got to be out of his mind and not someone that I need to have in my life anyway.
That's how I know that because of my laziness and overall ability to not really give a shit I would never have to do something like this (if you don't want to deal with all manners of hoodrat folly skip to around 4:00):
(source)
Soooooo....there's really a niche for shit like this? Broads are trying to lock dudes down under the guise of delicous snacks and treats?!
If I was Betty Crocker and Duncan Hines I'd sue these heffas like a motherfucker. Talk about complete and utter disregard and disrespect for there businesses objectives. I'm quite sure when they were writing up the business plans they did not list hoes using their mixes as a carrier for potions made from excretions as a goal.
I have so many questions.
What in the entire fuck is really going on with those damn pannies? Instead of trying to keep her man, homegirl should have been somewhere seeking treatment. No way that amount of discharge is ever healthy.
Why does the chef think is cool to scrape yeast out of those said pannies in the sink over what will be tonights dinner? What if some fallout gets in your chicken tenders? Now your babies are following this bitch around like she's Mother Goose.
Why is the camera woman so damn calm? I would have ran from that house dialing 911 and screaming. I don't think I've ever been in the prescence of a sociopath. I imagine sitting in the kitchen with that broad would've felt like chilling with BTK or Ted Bundy on one of their busiest days. No way I would've kept that camera steady. It woulda been like "The Blair Witch Project" in that bitch.
Is this legal? I'm serious. This has got to be some form of assault. And I know when homeboy gets wind of this video there's gonna be another one. I'm not for smacking women around but if dude wanted to get a good grip on her shoulders and shake the shit out of her for this one, I'd totally understand. Shit like this warrants the dispensing of a black eye or two.
Look if there ever comes a point in your like where you think contaminating confections with excretions and/or excrement is the move to make him stay...break up. If nothing that you've done before that point has been enough to make him stay, quit playing you, or act like he has some sense, he's not worth it. Trust and believe he's not going to be changing the chemical makeup of some break-n-bakes for your ass.
Y'all need to stop this shit. Thirst and desperation is so unattractive. Keep acting this way and he's going to be sharing his special cake with his new girl and then your dumb ass will have two aint shit roommates.
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