You know what? I think I'd rather watch Mr.PhatLips pole dance for the Lord than deal with this foolishness.
Then again, maybe he can use this track for his next interpretative piece...
(source)
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Ummmm.....Amen?
So some friends and I were talking about this Pole Dancin' for Jesus class the other day. Honestly, it was kind of hard to wrap my mind around the idea of it. Maybe it's because in most of the strip clubs I've ever been to there's nothing really holy going on. So it's kind of hard to reconcile the idea of bringing church there.
I really didn't think much of it because it seemed to be a novel idea that probably wouldn't go further than that gym in Texas. Boy was I wrong....
(source)
O...M...freaking...G!!!!!!
I have so many questions!!!
Am I supposed to take this guy seriously? Did I really just see this so-and-so work that pole like one of Magic City's finest...for Jesus? Where did he learn how to do this? Why is the pole sitting by the front door? Is this how Christians greet their guests in 2011? Do you have to climb to the top and drop into a split while praying before you can take a seat or be offered libations? Is this some new millienium praise dancing? If so, what part of the bible is he interpreting for us? 'Cause I surely don't recall a Book of Bullshit...but I haven't read my copy of the Dead Sea Scrolls lately so I can't say for sure that that book does not exist.
When I go to church on Sunday will Pastor be introducing "The Ass-Clappin' Angels" or some other high-flying, lap dancing, praise dancing troupe? Will the deacons be making it rain on the alter? Will I need to pack extra dollars for a special building fund collection? I need to know now. Because I'm liable to fall out if I see it. And it won't be because of the Holy Ghost.
Look, I don't wanna knock this man's ministry but....something in the milk ain't clean! And honestly it's not just because of the pole. It's because it's a DUDE. A DUDE working the pole...for Jesus. Not saying that a broad giving it all she's got for the Good Lord is a good thing but...it's not a DUDE! Then again it could be I'm just a little jelly. I can hardly do a push-up, so I damn sure know I can't do what he just did...
I take that back. I know I could, but there would be lots of alcohol and debauchery involved. Definitely no Jesus. And it wouldn't be caught on tape. Tee's ho shit is for mental recall only.
I swear I don't know what to do with this. He's praising the Lord in his own way so I don't want to say that he shouldn't but....I really don't think he should be doing this. Am I wrong? What do you good people think? Is pole dancing for Jesus a good thing? Or is this dude just a heathen trying to hustle his way into Heaven with some foolishness?
I really didn't think much of it because it seemed to be a novel idea that probably wouldn't go further than that gym in Texas. Boy was I wrong....
(source)
O...M...freaking...G!!!!!!
I have so many questions!!!
Am I supposed to take this guy seriously? Did I really just see this so-and-so work that pole like one of Magic City's finest...for Jesus? Where did he learn how to do this? Why is the pole sitting by the front door? Is this how Christians greet their guests in 2011? Do you have to climb to the top and drop into a split while praying before you can take a seat or be offered libations? Is this some new millienium praise dancing? If so, what part of the bible is he interpreting for us? 'Cause I surely don't recall a Book of Bullshit...but I haven't read my copy of the Dead Sea Scrolls lately so I can't say for sure that that book does not exist.
When I go to church on Sunday will Pastor be introducing "The Ass-Clappin' Angels" or some other high-flying, lap dancing, praise dancing troupe? Will the deacons be making it rain on the alter? Will I need to pack extra dollars for a special building fund collection? I need to know now. Because I'm liable to fall out if I see it. And it won't be because of the Holy Ghost.
Look, I don't wanna knock this man's ministry but....something in the milk ain't clean! And honestly it's not just because of the pole. It's because it's a DUDE. A DUDE working the pole...for Jesus. Not saying that a broad giving it all she's got for the Good Lord is a good thing but...it's not a DUDE! Then again it could be I'm just a little jelly. I can hardly do a push-up, so I damn sure know I can't do what he just did...
I take that back. I know I could, but there would be lots of alcohol and debauchery involved. Definitely no Jesus. And it wouldn't be caught on tape. Tee's ho shit is for mental recall only.
I swear I don't know what to do with this. He's praising the Lord in his own way so I don't want to say that he shouldn't but....I really don't think he should be doing this. Am I wrong? What do you good people think? Is pole dancing for Jesus a good thing? Or is this dude just a heathen trying to hustle his way into Heaven with some foolishness?
Friday, March 18, 2011
YouTube Foolishness: That's Crack...Not a Blarney Stone
I meant to post this yesterday, but I was on some other stuff and fell asleep before the street lights came on. A post I saw on my FB newsfeed reminded me though.
It's a day late, but you'll get over it once you check out this oldie but goodie. Real live Irish foolishness in the middle of the hood.
Things about this video that KILL.ME.DEAD:
It's a day late, but you'll get over it once you check out this oldie but goodie. Real live Irish foolishness in the middle of the hood.
Things about this video that KILL.ME.DEAD:
- "I want dat gold!!"
- The leprechaun flute. Passed down from from his Irish ancestors. Hilarious.
- "It could be a crackhead dat got aholt of the wrong stuff!!!"
- That damn eyewitness sketch!!! Lawd hammercy it brings me to tears err time!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
That's What You Get!!
My insomina was rewarded when I found the following gift in my inbox. Thanks to The Gladiator for this little piece of heaven.
I'm totally anti-bully. As a person of a smaller stature, I know what it's like to have people pick on you just because it seems like an easy win. And as a person of a smaller stature I totally understand how the video below got to the point that it did.
On any given day, you could ask my brain how tall I am and it would give you a severe *side-eye* and say "Can't you see? Tee is 10 feet tall." You can't tell me that I'm not head and shoulders above all folks walking on these streets right now.
And my attitude reflects this.
But my brain will also tell me when I'm about to do some very, very stupid shit. And since I'm not stupid, like the kid in this video, I usually pause and reflect on the dumb shit that I'm about to do. It usually works, sometimes it doesn't, my criminal record* reflects that.
Anyway, like I said, I'm not stupid. I may talk a lot of shit. Most times I can back it up on my lonesome, but I know when to seek assistance. And by assistance I mean a big stick or a brick. Lil' man in the video should have listened to his brain...
(source)
I didn't mean to laugh, but....oh hell, yes I did. Homeboy got ROCKED! And you can really tell that the other kid didn't want to do it. He was forced. It was self-defense. And THAT'S why this was extra hilarious. The little one really thought he had a win, started dancing like he was Mayweather and errthang. *snicker*
In my head I imagine that the conversation leading up to this incident went like this:
Backstory: The little one, Pee Wee, has been messing with the big one, Baby Huey, for weeks now. Tossing paper clips at his head, stealing his lunch money, talking about his Mama, pinching him and shit. Baby Huey never reacts. This has made Pee Wee grow very, very, very big balls.
Pee Wee: 'Sup Huey, I told you in 3rd period I was gonna end your life today!
(Pee Wee's brain: Dude...he's kinda huge...I don't know...)
Baby Huey: Hi.
Pee Wee: Hi? That's all you have to say when I'm about to send you home crying to your big, fat Mommy?
(Pee Wee's brain: His MOM?! Oh shit..hes gonna kill you! Stop!)
Baby Huey: Don't talk about my Mom.
Pee Wee: FUCK your Mama! Your Mama is soooo UGLY, you Daddy had to visit her at the Zoo to go on dates!!
(Pee Wee's brain: Dude...stop. Cease and desist. You don't have to do this!! Just keep cussin and back away slowly...)
Baby Huey: That's really not nice.
Pee Wee: Not nice? Imma show you not nice! *one punch* *two punch* *three punch* *four....*
(Pee Wee's brain: Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Run dude!! RUN!! OH SHIT!! I'm upside down...I don't think I'm supposed to bounce around like that! Man down! Man down!)
So Pee Wee didn't listen to his brain. He listened his friends and he ended up with a damn TBI after getting choke slammed on the hard concrete.
I wonder if he could even rember his name after that jostling? Probably not. But I bet you I know a name he will never forget in his lifetime: Baby freakin' Huey. He shut shit down. And he didn't say one word.
Nothing good can come from picking on folks. Nothing good at all. Even if you think you are the biggest and baddest kid on the block, reconsider bothering people just because you want to be entertained. Because it is usually YOU who become the entertainment for people like me. And I promise you Pee Wee, I'm going to be laughing at you for a very long time.
I hope that little pint-sized jackass Pee Wee has learned his lesson.
I hope that school has a video yearbook or a time machine that they can put this in and preserve it for all of eternity. EVERYBODY needs to see this and see that bullying is so not worth it. Especially not if you want to be able to spend your life concussion free.
I'm totally anti-bully. As a person of a smaller stature, I know what it's like to have people pick on you just because it seems like an easy win. And as a person of a smaller stature I totally understand how the video below got to the point that it did.
On any given day, you could ask my brain how tall I am and it would give you a severe *side-eye* and say "Can't you see? Tee is 10 feet tall." You can't tell me that I'm not head and shoulders above all folks walking on these streets right now.
And my attitude reflects this.
But my brain will also tell me when I'm about to do some very, very stupid shit. And since I'm not stupid, like the kid in this video, I usually pause and reflect on the dumb shit that I'm about to do. It usually works, sometimes it doesn't, my criminal record* reflects that.
Anyway, like I said, I'm not stupid. I may talk a lot of shit. Most times I can back it up on my lonesome, but I know when to seek assistance. And by assistance I mean a big stick or a brick. Lil' man in the video should have listened to his brain...
(source)
I didn't mean to laugh, but....oh hell, yes I did. Homeboy got ROCKED! And you can really tell that the other kid didn't want to do it. He was forced. It was self-defense. And THAT'S why this was extra hilarious. The little one really thought he had a win, started dancing like he was Mayweather and errthang. *snicker*
In my head I imagine that the conversation leading up to this incident went like this:
Backstory: The little one, Pee Wee, has been messing with the big one, Baby Huey, for weeks now. Tossing paper clips at his head, stealing his lunch money, talking about his Mama, pinching him and shit. Baby Huey never reacts. This has made Pee Wee grow very, very, very big balls.
Pee Wee: 'Sup Huey, I told you in 3rd period I was gonna end your life today!
(Pee Wee's brain: Dude...he's kinda huge...I don't know...)
Baby Huey: Hi.
Pee Wee: Hi? That's all you have to say when I'm about to send you home crying to your big, fat Mommy?
(Pee Wee's brain: His MOM?! Oh shit..hes gonna kill you! Stop!)
Baby Huey: Don't talk about my Mom.
Pee Wee: FUCK your Mama! Your Mama is soooo UGLY, you Daddy had to visit her at the Zoo to go on dates!!
(Pee Wee's brain: Dude...stop. Cease and desist. You don't have to do this!! Just keep cussin and back away slowly...)
Baby Huey: That's really not nice.
Pee Wee: Not nice? Imma show you not nice! *one punch* *two punch* *three punch* *four....*
(Pee Wee's brain: Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Run dude!! RUN!! OH SHIT!! I'm upside down...I don't think I'm supposed to bounce around like that! Man down! Man down!)
So Pee Wee didn't listen to his brain. He listened his friends and he ended up with a damn TBI after getting choke slammed on the hard concrete.
I wonder if he could even rember his name after that jostling? Probably not. But I bet you I know a name he will never forget in his lifetime: Baby freakin' Huey. He shut shit down. And he didn't say one word.
Nothing good can come from picking on folks. Nothing good at all. Even if you think you are the biggest and baddest kid on the block, reconsider bothering people just because you want to be entertained. Because it is usually YOU who become the entertainment for people like me. And I promise you Pee Wee, I'm going to be laughing at you for a very long time.
I hope that little pint-sized jackass Pee Wee has learned his lesson.
I hope that school has a video yearbook or a time machine that they can put this in and preserve it for all of eternity. EVERYBODY needs to see this and see that bullying is so not worth it. Especially not if you want to be able to spend your life concussion free.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Conversations With My Son: Does He See What I See?
I'm getting LASIK! I'm so happy. I can't wait to get rid of my glasses. The Kid isn't really feeling it though.
Me: Hooray!! I'm going to have surgery!! I won't need glasses anymore!!
Him: Surgery?
Me: Yep! The doctor is going to use a laser to reshape my eyeballs and make me see clearer! Awesome right?
Him: Uh...sure.
Me: You don't think that's awesome?
Him: I mean. It's okay I guess...what are you going to do with your glasses?
Me: I don't know, I won't need them.
Him: So you won't wear them anymore?
Me: No. I won't need them.
Him: I like your glasses.
Me: You do?
Him: Yes. I think you are very pretty with your glasses.
Me: Awwww! How sweet! Do you think I'm pretty without them?
Him: *silence*
Me: Hello!?!?! Did you hear me? Do you think I'm pretty without them?
Him: Well...yeah. But I like the glasses better.
Me: Why?
Him: Because they cover your face.
I tell you what people. If I didn't have any self-esteem, this kid would have me looking for some rope and an empty closet. What the hell?
Me: Hooray!! I'm going to have surgery!! I won't need glasses anymore!!
Him: Surgery?
Me: Yep! The doctor is going to use a laser to reshape my eyeballs and make me see clearer! Awesome right?
Him: Uh...sure.
Me: You don't think that's awesome?
Him: I mean. It's okay I guess...what are you going to do with your glasses?
Me: I don't know, I won't need them.
Him: So you won't wear them anymore?
Me: No. I won't need them.
Him: I like your glasses.
Me: You do?
Him: Yes. I think you are very pretty with your glasses.
Me: Awwww! How sweet! Do you think I'm pretty without them?
Him: *silence*
Me: Hello!?!?! Did you hear me? Do you think I'm pretty without them?
Him: Well...yeah. But I like the glasses better.
Me: Why?
Him: Because they cover your face.
I tell you what people. If I didn't have any self-esteem, this kid would have me looking for some rope and an empty closet. What the hell?
Random Thoughts: Education Connection
Today's Random Thought is brought to you by the letter E.
It was inspired by this commercial that I've been seeing for the past several months. I know you all have seen this before. Every time I see it I giggle. Because Kelly, really thinks she's jamming. All while dressed like she works in Mel's Diner and serving up a platter full of ketchup and mustard. And because the little ditty she's singing sounds like it was produced by Soulja Boy. It's like a high school level Conjunction Junction. How dreadful.
It's actually kind of insulting that the person in charge of creating this foolishness really thinks that this little girl posing as the long lost white member of The Sugar Hill Gang doing some low budget karoke will make people want to learn. Well, it's insulting to me. I'm sure there where thousands of people watching this at the same time that I was that said, "Damn! Now THAT'S a good idea!!"
The dehumanization (is that a word?) of education really makes me sad. You go to this website, fill out a questionnaire, and be matched to the online program that is right for you. It's like eHarmony and Match.com, but instead of an MRS you get a BS or MD. I'm sure it's a good way to go for some but...I would want to do more to personalize my education experience than choosing a cute wallpaper design for my profile.
I think some people are missing out on some of the best parts of going farther than living room for school. This new way to learn is killing the real-world skills of our youth. All they know how to do know is poke, tag, inbox, and IM. If any of them had to actually socialize with people in person they would probably piss their pants.
Remember when people actually visited schools to see what they had to offer? When the performance of the basketball and/or football team was a factor in your choice? When getting back to your dorm room from the local watering required you to use all the physics, algebra, and geometry you had learned during the week? When you had to actually look your professor in the eye to lie to him about why you didn't have your paper completed on time?
Shit is different.
I blame MySpace.
It was inspired by this commercial that I've been seeing for the past several months. I know you all have seen this before. Every time I see it I giggle. Because Kelly, really thinks she's jamming. All while dressed like she works in Mel's Diner and serving up a platter full of ketchup and mustard. And because the little ditty she's singing sounds like it was produced by Soulja Boy. It's like a high school level Conjunction Junction. How dreadful.
It's actually kind of insulting that the person in charge of creating this foolishness really thinks that this little girl posing as the long lost white member of The Sugar Hill Gang doing some low budget karoke will make people want to learn. Well, it's insulting to me. I'm sure there where thousands of people watching this at the same time that I was that said, "Damn! Now THAT'S a good idea!!"
The dehumanization (is that a word?) of education really makes me sad. You go to this website, fill out a questionnaire, and be matched to the online program that is right for you. It's like eHarmony and Match.com, but instead of an MRS you get a BS or MD. I'm sure it's a good way to go for some but...I would want to do more to personalize my education experience than choosing a cute wallpaper design for my profile.
I think some people are missing out on some of the best parts of going farther than living room for school. This new way to learn is killing the real-world skills of our youth. All they know how to do know is poke, tag, inbox, and IM. If any of them had to actually socialize with people in person they would probably piss their pants.
Remember when people actually visited schools to see what they had to offer? When the performance of the basketball and/or football team was a factor in your choice? When getting back to your dorm room from the local watering required you to use all the physics, algebra, and geometry you had learned during the week? When you had to actually look your professor in the eye to lie to him about why you didn't have your paper completed on time?
Shit is different.
I blame MySpace.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
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