Sing, Sing, Celebrate: Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Ratchet Artists Who Love Him

Today we celebrate the birth of one of the greatest civil rights leaders in our nations history, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

 Many of us will honor his memory by participating in service projects. Others will relax and take advantage of the day off from work. 

Because MLK would say "way to go bro" on the National Mall...

And then there are the other citizens of the universe who will sit at their computers for hours scouring the innanets for pictures and then work diligently trying to tie together, Dr. King, President Obama, Nelson Mandela, Malcolm X, James Brown, Trayvon Martin, and their cousin Day Day. All in the name of the dream.

There will be galas, brunches, parades, and all other manners of celebrations in his honor. Including this soiree put on by the Pensacola Power Circle:

Excuse me for a moment while I close my eyes and wish that this shit ain't here when I open them again.

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Damn. Didn't work. Welp, this one gets the blankest of stares and the most epic side-eye a girl can muster.

This is the part of black culture that I hate. My people can always find a way to take something that is respectful and honorable and create the most ratchet shit ever.

Really? We just gonna take a picture of The King and throw some Beats by Dre's on him? What exactly is this for? Are we tryna give the man street cred? 

I wish my mind was feeble, so that I could understand what is really going on. Okay, I'm lying. I'm pretty proud that my mind doesn't work this way. I think it's utterly disrespectful to put some Beats by Dre's on The King. Everybody knows he enjoyed the smooth sound of Thelonious Monk being played on his trusty victrola. 

I just know when folks walk in there will be nothing but the distinctive aroma of weed, sweat, and failure. 

I thought that nothing could get worse than turning the King into a 106 & Park VJ...then I saw this...

MLK bad looking like a bag o'money...

I should have known nothing good would come of it when I saw that the B.O.S.S.N.I.G.G.A.Z. were the one's putting on the function. I mean, I guess it makes sense though seeing as how it's all for Bad Bitch Sunday...

Although, I'm certain that the good Doctor relaxed with a nice glass of Henny every now and again, I'm pretty sure that he would never chill in front of somebody's Nikon flexing with the church offering and one of the members of the Mother Board in her draws. 

Why is this okay? Who approved this shit? I'm just know that there is one of these floating around with the man chilling in a wicker chair with 2 or 3 hoes on his lap or planking on a stack of money in front of a Biggie/Tupac airbrushed backdrop. Because that's what he was all about really. Money, hoes, and equality for all.

Pinky rings, Polo's, and processes...

I don't even have the words... so I'll just show you my reaction...

The people of the world with good common sense would like to request that all of you bootleg computer artists cease and desist. You are making us all look bad. And you are making the Good Lord   reconsider not rebooting the matrix. 

It's Been A Long Time...I Shouldna Left You

The following post is a summary of why I thought the Mayan calendar was right and that shit was gonna get really real for us on December 21.

A few months ago a friend of mine (and I use the word friend loosely) sent me this jewel from a precious little lamb named Trinidad James: 

It took me a full 7-10 business days to realize this shit wasn't a joke. Like this dude is dead damn serious. Rapping about mollies, gold, and niggas. All while looking like he just might be one of the last folks to step off the Underground Railroad.

I just knew that this guy was a sign that the Mayans were right. When he signed a record deal with Def Jam, I went into Doomsday Prepper mode. I hit Safeway shelves for non-perishables, toilet paper, batteries, and bottled water.

Then this happened:

A Tyler Perry movie that I think I want to see. I don't think I have to say anything more. Just know that after this happened, I began watching the sky for locusts and checking to see if the Patapsco River was flowing blood instead of water.

One of my followers sent me a video. It's Ices Brown. I said a little prayer before I pressed play. Then this happened:

First of all...why is this chick so damn greasy? Look like she bobbed for wings and thighs in Precious' bucket of chicken. This purple shirt got her giving all kinds of Grimace realness. And don't even get me started on the fact that she don't even know the words to the dang song!!

When I tell you I got down on my knees and prayed to the Good Lord for help?!? Y'all just don't understand. Ices took me to the edge and I was gonna voluntarily take a swan dive off. I also seriously considered tunneling a bunker under my apartment building. When things like this are happening in the world, you just can't take chances.

But even with all of this calamity, the world didn't end. Sweet Baby Jesus' Daddy said he chooses the hour and the minute that the world's rotations stops. It's gonna be a surprise. But that doesn't mean that y'all can keep letting foolishness happen. We have to stop giving him reasons to push fast forward. 

Let's do better in 2013. Please.

Election 2012: Real Life Foolishness

2012 is an election year. I'm not going to talk about who you should be voting for. I'm not going to discuss whether or not your decision is right or whether it's wrong.  In fact, I'm not going to say much at all.

I'm gonna let this here picture speak for itself. I'm just going tell you that as much as I *heart* ratchetness and tomfoolery, this kind of ignorance is not acceptable.

Word?

Shirts like this let me know that as much as people would like to say that things are different, they really aren't.

This Is Your Brain On Drugs - Sponsored by iPhone 5

OK so this foolishness was posted on my FB wall today by TuTu83. I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time on this one because you'll see why I was LMAO in a minute.

I just feel like I need to do my D.A.R.E. representative duty and tell you all that drugs and alcohol are bad for you.  They fry your brain and make you sit in lines for shit that you don't even know about.  They make you share information that nobody cares to know.  They make you give permission to random street reporters to tape your dumb ass and post your interview on line so that millions and millions of the world's citizens can laugh at you.  And you won't remember any of it in the morning.

Jesus be a 12 step program and some solitude for Rachel.  She needs some help for reals.


(source)

Straight From The Inbox: Simple Math

My friend Mr. Bigg sent me this. Just thought I'd share. LOL

Notice Purple

I started a new writing blog.  Check me out at www.noticepurple.com.

Miss Barbara vs. USA: Roy Wood Jr. Prank Call

This an audio of a prank call made a few years ago by comedian Roy Wood, Jr. It  was gifted to me by my friend The Lovely Lucian. It's full of ratchet behavior, verbal abuse, and threats of physical harm.  You know, all of the things that Tee is so universally known for.

Background: Dr. Sidmon Abizo calls Miss Barbara to inform her that her monthly Social Security check will be cut by $250 in order to help Hurrican Katrina victims, gas prices, and some other stuff.  Hilarity ensues.

Get into it.